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Class 1 

Book 1_ 5 

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COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



CHALLENGING A GOD 



BY 

Henry Rosch Vanderbyll 

Author of "The Great Secret," etc. 




BOSTON 

SHERMAN, FRENCH & COMPANY 

1915 



-£»? 



3* 



copybight, 1915 
Sherman, French 6 s Company 

JUL 28 1915 

©CI.A406900 



CONTENTS 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I Challenging a God 1 

II The Polishing op Man 13 

III Man and Universe as Perceiver or 

Consciousness 24 

IV Man and Material Universe as Fate 37 
V Fate and the Great European War . 48 

VI The Origin of Crime 60 

VII Visible Expression of the Invisible . 72 

VIII What is Truth? 88 

IX Defending the Devil . . . . .105 

X The Unknowable . . . . . . .116 

XI Conjectures 128 

XII My Life and My Universe . . . .139 



CHALLENGING A GOD 



CHALLENGING A GOD 

Man has known many gods. Some were 
mighty, others were grouchy; others, again, 
were revengeful. When new, undeniable facts 
were discovered about universe * that did not 
harmonize with man's god-idea, he dismissed the 
old gentleman, and employed another and more 
up-to-date one. In fact, whenever man changed 
his mind for the better, he placed a more effi- 
cient and modern ruler at the head of universal 
business. Not so long ago, a certain civilized 
race had two world-managers in its employ who 
engaged in everlasting competition. Which of 
the two was the mightiest has never been de- 
cided. The one whose name was Devil had, to 
all appearances, a great ability to direct human 
lives. I believe, however, that he has since 
fallen in disgrace. Man's intellect has grown. 

* There is hardly a word in the English language that 
fittingly names the All, the bottomless world-depth. I 
have used the word " universe " without the article when- 
ever I referred to the All, thus suggesting the same 
generality and boundlessness which, for instance, the 
word " life " suggests. 

1 



2 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Neither does he, to-day, recognize another hell 
beside his own soul-agony. 

There exists a god to-day who is, I believe, 
working overtime. His efficiency, principles, 
and morals are sadly in need of improvement. 
Man is greater than he is. Man advocates 
principles and ideals in his imperfect life that 
are totally unknown to this god. Man is an 
admirer of justice, nobility of character, and 
beauty of soul and mind. He is a fervent 
spokesman in favor of freedom and liberty. 
None of these glorious principles and ideals are 
known to this god. Perhaps he is acquainted 
with liberty and freedom. If he is, they are 
meant to be enjoyed by himself. He does not 
care to grant such divine favors to his employes. 

In view of the extraordinary fact that this 
ruler's subjects excel their god in sense of 
beauty, nobility, and justice, I do not hesitate 
to challenge him. I realize that it requires a 
great deal of courage to do so. This god, 
namely, has a powerful helpmate, whose name is 
" Public Opinion." This second god, " Public 
Opinion," is the worst enemy of progress, sci- 
ence, and truth. It often tempts a man to be 
untrue to his convictions. It sometimes keeps 
him silent when he should speak. Caring more 
for truth and the soul-progress of humanity 
than for public opinion, I shall now proceed to 
send my challenge. 



CHALLENGING A GOD 3 

I accuse this god of having felt infinitely 
bored; of having passed the dreariness of the 
eternal hours in creating balls of mud and peo- 
pling them with beings ; of having been, and still 
being, the whimsical, playful owner of human 
toys ; of having, knowingly, made these toys 
imperfect, through which imperfection they 
often suffer unnameable agonies. 

I have a score of other accusations in mind, 
which are less important, however. The reader 
will see from the above that my chief accusa- 
tion is — wilful creation. Such behaviour 
seems, besides cruel, rather incomprehensible to 
me. I cannot understand why a perfect god 
should find an excuse to create. Is not perfec- 
tion all that is and ever can be? Should not 
the creation indicate and be proof of the im- 
perfection of this god? Why, his perfection 
amounted to absolute perfection minus his cre- 
ation ! Neither can I conceive of perfection 
existing beside something else. Perfection is 
necessarily one; perfection cannot be two. 

In defense of his extraordinary actions, it is 
claimed that this god merely created the world 
and you to manifest his glory. Although I 
must admit that universe is a treasure-house of 
beautiful marvels, I cannot be wholly blind to 
the fact that there is also a great deal of ugli- 
ness and imperfection to be found. A more im- 
perfect toy than man is, is hardly imaginable. 



4 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Perhaps we would not notice this imperfection, 
had not a perfect god created man. His very 
birth is a prediction of his death and destruc- 
tion. The manifestation of this god's glory 
is not quite perfect, apparently. It would ap- 
pear, moreover, that he is intimately acquainted 
with one of man's most disagreeable faults — 
vanity. 

I asked this god, long ago, to join the ranks 
of the unemployed. I suppose that I am not 
taxing my reader's wit too much when I expect 
him to realize by now that this God is not a 
real god. No, indeed, he is not real. He does 
not exist at all: a reason why my challenge 
is answered by the silence of eternal vastness, 
only. This creating god is but a creation him- 
self. A mental creation is he, existing in the 
mind of man. For it so happens that the gods 
of man are his own creations. 

Man erects his god-structure upon a change- 
able foundation. This foundation is his own 
mentality, — in the last analysis, perhaps, the 
degree of development of his own being. This 
foundation, in turn, is a mixture of ignorance 
and fear. Existence-ignorance and fear are 
inseparable. When man's being, intellect, and 
knowledge develop, the foundation of his god- 
structure necessarily becomes shaky and craggy. 
The structure itself crumbles into a pitiful, ri- 



CHALLENGING A GOD 5 

diculous heap of thought-ruins. A new foun- 
dation is being laid, containing less ignorance 
and, consequently, less fear. A new god-struc- 
ture is being erected, resembling thought-archi- 
tecture a little more correctly and truthfully. 
And this god-structure is once more the exact 
expression of man's soul-development. 

The Old Testament enjoyed, no doubt, a 
great reputation about twenty-five centuries 
ago. It probably contains the best essays writ- 
ten on existence in the year 500 to 100 b. c. If 
there were no progress of soul and mind, we 
might still think those essays marvelous and di- 
vine. Representing, however, an infinitely 
higher soul-development than that of thirty cen- 
turies ago, we cannot refrain from condemning 
the ideas and thoughts uttered in this much 
talked-of book. Our wisdom, naturally, forbids 
us to condemn the author or the authors of this 
book. We understand that the authors were 
not responsible for the development of their 
own being. We understand that their thoughts 
and ideas were the necessary expressions of a 
certain degree of man-development. 

Very little sound judgment and common sense 
are required to realize that the god-structure 
of the Hebrews cannot possibly harmonize with 
a modern thought-foundation. The intelligent 
reader will immediately remark that mentioned 



6 CHALLENGING A GOD 

structure contains certain antagonistic, if not 
repulsive, elements, such as cruelty, deceit, 
greed, tyranny, immorality, etc. 

The friendship between the Hebrews and 
their god was remarkable. Perhaps it was not 
friendship, after all. He was more a feared 
and strictly obeyed leader of a gang of brigands 
and robbers. The Hebrew's enemy was his 
enemy. He used his all-powerful might to de- 
stroy the foes of Israel. Pestilence, all-destruc- 
tion, and wholesale-slaughter were his favorite 
methods of warfare. When his omnipotence 
failed him, he resorted to deceit and cunning. 
The cruelty he displayed towards his conquered 
enemies was immense. He spared neither 
woman nor man nor babe. He deemed it some- 
times necessary to destroy the helpless dumb 
cows and oxen and asses belonging to the 
enemy. 

In return for his powerful assistance the He- 
brews fed this god roast lamb and roast beef. 
It sometimes happened that a father thought 
Jehovah to be in a grouchy mood; so he pre- 
pared to offer him his son, in the hope that 
such sacrifice might change his disposition. 
Little babes were not entirely spurned by this 
hungry god. 

Well, it has probably become clear to my 
reader that this god was but an expression of a 
barbarian's being and mentality. The Hebrew 



CHALLENGING A GOD 7 

of those days must have been a veritable pig. 
But again we ftfrgive him. He was not know- 
ingly responsible for his marked non-develop- 
ment. 

It is an interesting, if not logical, fact that 
man builds his god-structure upon a founda- 
tion of ignorance and fear. Man is a hero in 
his earth-kingdom. He is not afraid to investi- 
gate the realms of physics and chemistry. He 
often does not hesitate to undertake vivisec- 
tional experiments. He harnesses and com- 
mands the power of electricity. He is the 
courageous king of a visible, tangible, sensible 
kingdom of mud. Put to him, however, the im- 
pertinent little questions : " Why ? How ? 
Whence? Whither?" Mention the name of 
God! Command him to enter the realm of the 
Infinite! You shall see that his answer is 
shaped in the form of an excuse. Yes, you shall 
notice a glimmer of fear in his eye. Very nat- 
urally, for he does not know. And is there 
a greater fear-creating power than not-know- 
ing? 

The unexplainable known fills the human 
heart with fear. I invite my reader for a walk 
in the still night. The star-studded depths of 
universe are brooding in silence. Yonder 
planet, with its calm flow of light, is one of our 
immediate neighbors — merely several million 
miles distant. Beyond that planet, several bil- 



8 CHALLENGING A GOD 

lion miles distant, rolls our immediate star- 
neighbor. Beyond this star, infinitely far away, 
roll other stars. Beyond the latter shine thou- 
sands of others. And suppose that we have at 
last reached the ultimate star; what then? 
Then there is still infinite space to be reckoned 
with. It rolls on, rolls on, rolls on . . . until 
I remember that I am six feet tall, that I 
weigh 170 pounds, that I shall probably live 
another forty or fifty years. The rolling-on 
of infinite space suddenly ceases. And I am 
ceasing this awful meditation in the still night. 
For that unexplainable known immensity over- 
shadows my soul with the very essence of fear. 
I shall be glad to receive any answer to that 
universal puzzle that can satisfy my mental un- 
rest. Whether it shall satisfy me, naturally 
depends upon the quality of my mind or my 
being. But an answer I must have, even if the 
answer should be that there is no answer. 

Man has ever invented answers to the prob- 
lems of existence that satisfied his particular 
degree of mentality. Many of these answers 
still live as ancient myths and legends in to- 
day's literature. One of the most ingenious 
and childish explanations of a natural phenom- 
enon was given by the Teutons, more than 
twenty centuries ago. The thunderstorm was 
the unexplainable known until a Teuton-genius 
furnished a satisfactory solution to the prob- 



CHALLENGING A GOD 9 

lem. He claimed that their god, Wodan, was 
rather displeased! His angry frown was dis- 
tinctly noticeable in the black, towering thun- 
der-clouds. He drove his chariot over the 
bridge of heaven (the rainbow). One could 
hear the loud rattle of the vehicle's wheels (the 
thunder). One could see the sparks of fire fall 
from his stallions' feet (the lightning). This 
explanation was satisfactory to the Teuton- 
mind. Had they been acquainted with the laws 
of sound, light, and electricity, this explana- 
tion of a phenomenon of nature would never have 
been given. 

I do not know who gave that Paradise-solu- 
tion of the problem of man's origin. It is 
rather good, I think, considering the fact that 
it was written several thousand years ago. I 
do not think it necessary to remark that a man 
with a twentieth-century-mind does not read it 
in any other manner than he would a myth. 

I begin to realize that the above utterings 
may be understood to be an attack upon believ- 
ers of a certain religion. I hasten to deny 
such accusation. I do not intend to attack any 
individual, no matter to what creed, belief, or 
denomination he may be espoused. I do not 
even wish to crush the belief of the believers 
who have nothing else to believe. They should 
have their belief. Their particular soul-devel- 
opment demands it, no doubt. Nay, my argu- 



10 CHALLENGING A GOD 

ments are meant for the individual who believes 
because public opinion and public belief would 
force him to do so. His belief I condemn ! His 
lack of moral courage I condemn ! Him I wish 
to see free! Free from prejudice, superstition, 
ignorance, and the selfish motives that induce 
him to think as others do. I wish to convince 
him that the claim of authority on matters re- 
lating to the secret of existence is an unsur- 
passed expression of arrogance. For his bene- 
fit, I wish to tear down that shaky god-structure, 
the composition of which is old and worn out. 
Let me scatter its fragments in the four direc- 
tions of the winds of heaven! Let me rebuild 
according to a more modern style! Let me re- 
build with the knowledge that some day a more 
advanced being shall tear down this very struc- 
ture, and build a better one ! 

There exists, I am convinced, no higher re- 
ligion than knowledge. I cannot understand 
why knowledge should not be preferable to 
vagaries, superstition, and fanaticism. Knowl- 
edge is not arrogant. It does not claim to re- 
alize more than it really knows. It courage- 
ously admits its ignorance. Infinitely more 
valuable is one average brain of knowledge than 
a piety-stricken church-crowd. 

To know is to be fearless. To merely partly 
understand the marvel of your own soul is to be 
a god. Knowing the laws of human being, you 



CHALLENGING A GOD 11 

readily forgive your fellow-man. Knowing the 
" why " and " ho'w " of everything, you are able 
to bear pain and misfortune. Knowledge makes 
you unconquerable. 

Spirituality does not consist of begging and 
worshipping and praising the Lord, as many 
people would think. To the degree you under- 
stand this existence-marvel, to such degree are 
you spiritual. The spiritual man does not fear 
or beg or praise. He knows ! He has read a 
few pages from the book of secrets. He is 
standing on a solid, indestructible rock — im- 
movable, even in an ocean of eternity. This 
rock is the rock of knowledge. Let the tempest 
howl, the storm beat : he knows ! He is their 
master: he knows! They cannot affect him: 
he knows ! His being is aglow with the inspira- 
tion of living: he knows! 

Nay, I never knew a spiritual man to crawl 
and beg before a whimsical ruler. Piety is an 
admission of your worthlessness. The spiritual 
man knows the value of his being. You offer 
worship in exchange for your master's good be- 
haviour. The spiritual man knows that every- 
thing and everybody behaves, provided he, him- 
self, behaves. 

I love the man who is aware of the infinite 
value of his own being. Do not think him con- 
ceited. He who knows is unconquerable and 
yet most humble. He cares little for his self 



12 CHALLENGING A GOD 

and its desires. He is brave enough to sacri- 
fice. He is sufficiently unselfish to bear pain 
and misfortune. He cannot be broken ; he can- 
not be crushed. Why, he is too unselfish, and 
he knows too much ! 

From out of the dim haze of the future looms 
a god : the knowing man ! ! 



II 

THE POLISHING OF MAN 

I never can remember in which year, before 
or after Christ, a big battle was fought, or a 
king was born, or a new religion was founded. 
My lack of interest is, most probably, the cause 
of my forget fulness. I care little for the in- 
numerable little happenings of the past. I do 
not think that history's purpose is to teach us 
dates and details of murders and conquests. 
History, as a whole, is teaching us but one 
thing. And this one thing is not always known 
to be the most interesting revelation in the rec- 
ords of past events. We are often more in- 
terested to know the number of wives and mis- 
tresses of King Henry the Eighth than to know 
that he was a selfish man. That the Catholic 
Church burned and tortured " unbelievers " is 
quite remarkable, considering it does not do so 
to-day. That such deeds were damnable and 
are unknown to-day, and that something must 
have happened to change people's viewpoints, 

is of less interest. Yet is this uninteresting 
13 



14 CHALLENGING A GOD 

side of history the most important one. It 
teaches us that man is subject to growth. And 
I believe that this simple fact allows us to pene- 
trate a little deeper into the darkness of ex- 
istence-mystery. 

From the reports of biologists, geologists, 
evolutionists, and philosophers in general, we 
are able to create a vague mental picture of the 
ancient man. We watch him roam the forest, 
unshaven, uncombed, totally ignorant of the 
existence of Paris garters and lavender socks. 
His chief business is to hunt for food. Yes, his 
chief business is to satisfy his self. We stand 
appalled at his unpolished manners toward the 
gentle sex. The art of paying compliments to 
fair womanhood is sadly foreign to him. He 
actually captures her by sheer brute force. His 
self desires her ; she should be his. 

Of this man we can merely remark that he 
exists. Existence is his only occupation. It is 
not so much that existence which is a part of 
one mighty whole-existence. His existence is 
self-centered, absolutely individual. He, the 
individual, exists before and above anything or 
anybody else. Let the stars shine in the sky- 
depths if they wish! He sees them without 
being conscious of them. They do not stimu- 
late his thought. His self-absorption envelops 
him in a veil of darkness that separates him from 
an outside universe. Of all things and beings 



THE POLISHING OF MAN 15 

he exists first. The balance of fathomless uni- 
verse is mere decoration. It very conveniently 
fills up the remaining void. 

From this pit of soul-darkness, man arises 
slowly as the years roll by. We shall take a 
long journey on che wings of time, and visit 
the man of the Middle Ages. We immediately 
notice that the centuries have wrought a change 
in the being of man. He is not so intensely ab- 
sorbed in self. He is actually inclined to take 
interest in other things beside his self. He even 
wonders what sort of thing this huge dwelling- 
place of his may be. He does not know whether 
to call it flat or round. One daring thinker 
claims that the earth is round and revolves upon 
an axis. 

Taken as a whole, this man is devoting some 
of his attention to art, education, and science. 
He is laying the crude foundations for a pres- 
ent university and laboratory. But although 
his self-centeredness is markedly less than that 
of the ancient man, he still considers his self to 
be the most important factor of existence. We 
see him play the role of king and nobleman. 
The king's word is law. He who displeases him 
or disregards his wishes is uncertain of his life. 
His desire to aggrandize his kingdom must be 
fulfilled at any cost. What matters the death 
of thousands of his subjects? Instead of con- 
quering with the iron muscle of yore, he slays 



16 CHALLENGING A GOD 

with the spear or with gunpowder; sometimes, 
also, with reason and intellect. 

We see this man play the role of priest. He 
commands the world to obey his word. Let no 
one obstruct his path! Let no one dare utter 
a thought or a conviction that might displease 
him! Torture and persecution are the well 
deserved penalties of such wickedness. 

Unlike the brute man, then, this man of the 
Middle Ages is finding distraction in an out- 
side universe. He has partly broken through 
the wall of darkness that envelops intense self- 
centeredness. He is, consequently, receptive to 
impression and knowledge. We are glad, how- 
ever, to hurry away from him. His highly self- 
centered being expresses itself through intense 
selfishness or thought of self. 

Man of the twentieth century ! How favor- 
ably does man of to-day compare with his an- 
cestors ! His self-cent eredness is infinitely 
less. This fact is revealed by his greater gen- 
erosity, his broad-mindedness, and his deep 
knowledge. He busies himself with innumerable 
things. The isolation-wall of self-absorption 
is nothing less than a heap of ruins. His being 
soars the depths of universe. Thought of self 
has been partly conquered by thought of oth- 
ers and thought of universe. He is not devot- 
ing his entire life to his self. Part of it is 
spent away from self. Were it not for this fact, 



THE POLISHING OF MAN 17 

he would not be able to make his discoveries 
about universe. He is receptive to impression 
and knowing. The man-seed has penetrated 
through its prison-house of darkness. The 
man-tree is towering towards the sky, catching 
the breezes of eternity, making a first attempt 
to embrace the All. 

Is it necessary to furnish the proofs that man 
of to-day is infinitely less absorbed in self than 
man of a century ago? I may mention the 
many charitable institutions, the free schools 
and hospitals. And what might Nero have 
thought of a society for preventing cruelty to 
animals ? What would Napoleon have answered 
to the modern statement that war is a crime? 
What might the people of two centuries ago 
have thought about democracy? The noiseless 
flap of time's wings has wrought an astonishing 
change in the being of man! 

In spite of our many accusations against man, 
we are compelled to admit that he has been 
improving continuously. We are forced to 
speak of a growth in man. He has been 
guided by the irresistible hand of progress. 
This is the great fact history is teaching us. 
It could not possibly reveal a more interesting 
fact. To know that man's being is growing is 
to know something about the very secret of ex- 
istence. 

The nature of the growth in man is a pe- 



18 CHALLENGING A GOD 

culiar one. It is undeniably the growth of un- 
selfishness. Study your history ; you shall find 
it to be so. Selfishness and generosity, how- 
ever, are but expressions of man's being. The 
very soul or being of man has changed in the 
course of time. There was a time when it was 
almost completely absorbed in itself. To use 
a modern expression : it was intensely conscious 
of self, or self-conscious. I lack the words and 
the expressions that should convey my meaning. 
As an illustration, I may mention the rose as 
being a lovely expression of intense self-con- 
sciousness. It is entirely wrapped up in its 
own existence. It is only aware of the sun- 
beams, the raindrops, and the night-time, which 
make up its outside universe. And most prob- 
ably this awareness is not a realized one. 

The intensely self-conscious man of yore was 
greatly absorbed in his individual existence. 
His awareness of self, however, was a conscious 
or realized awareness. It erected an unsur- 
mountable wall between his being and the out- 
side world. We might state that he was not 
All-conscious. We must not imagine, however, 
that he could possibly change this attitude of 
indifference towards the universe. This change 
could only be effected through the change of his 
being, which was subject to natural growth. 

History, then, teaches that the self-con- 
sciousness of man's being has become less in- 



THE POLISHING OF MAN 19 

tense. This fact is revealed by the growth of 
unselfishness — an expression of the growth of 
All-consciousness. We are liable to pay little 
attention to this peculiar growth in man. We 
take it as a matter of fact. We speak of 
progress and civilization, as if such things were 
not remarkable. Civilization, however, is but a 
visible expression of man's being. Yes, it ulti- 
mately depends upon the degree of self-con- 
sciousness of the individual's being. A high 
degree of civilization belongs to a high degree 
of soul-development. I do not take this growth 
and development of man's being as a matter of 
fact. It is highly astonishing and interesting. 
It is one of the most important hints given us to 
solve another part of the immense secret. 

We, to-day, may be quite satisfied with the 
high degree of development of man's being. 
This does not prevent it from growing. Look- 
ing around in our life of to-day, we must admit 
that it is thickly strewn with expressions of 
deep self-consciousness. Let us be truthful 
about it! It is wise and generous to admit our 
own imperfection. It is foolish and selfish to 
refuse to notice it. 

Man, to-day, is still greatly absorbed in self. 
I may mention here that this self-consciousness 
is human existence itself. Were it not for this 
fundamental quality of man's being, we should 
not be here writing about him. But there exist 



20 CHALLENGING A GOD 

degrees of self-consciousness. A low degree be- 
longs to the brute man's being; a higher de- 
gree to the noble individual. To-day there still 
exist expressions of a low degree of man-devel- 
opment. A few of these expressions are vanity, 
ignorance, orthodoxy, injustice, greed, graft, 
murder, war, etc. Democracy, as a form of 
government, is the highest expression known of 
advanced soul-development. Broadmindedness, 
generosity, universal knowledge are other such 
expressions. 

That man is primarily aware of, and ab- 
sorbed in, self is easily discovered by studying 
our own being. I have often wondered where 
the haunts of sorrow might be located. I have 
come to the extraordinary conclusion that both 
sorrow and happiness dwell under the same roof. 
I have asked myself the simple questions: 
"Who is sorrowful? Who is happy?" The 
answer is : " I am." One cannot deny the fact 
that sorrow finds its birth in " me," that self- 
centered something that constitutes man's being. 
The causes of our sufferings are, to all appear- 
ances, outside influences, happenings, and con- 
ditions. Is it not remarkable, however, that 
one individual is crushed, another strengthened 
and purified, by the same sorrowful experience? 
If outside influences, then, assault us, their ef- 
fect is nevertheless determined by the quality of 
our being. The flame cannot have its destruc- 



THE POLISHING OF MAN 21 

tive effect without an object upon which to act. 
A piece of pape*r is affected by a burning 
match; a stone is not. The quality of the ob- 
ject acted upon is of as much importance as the 
flame itself. 

All sorrow is caused by loss. When I ar- 
dently desire possession or the realization of a 
wish, I am liable to suffer if my desire is not ful- 
filled. In my ignorance I may curse myself and 
the world. I may wonder why a Supreme Being 
did not grant my request. I may think this 
earth a miserable dwelling-place for man. But 
the world moves on as silently as ever; the sun 
rises and sets as it did yesterday; life's busi- 
ness proceeds in the same regular manner. 
Nothing is being affected except my " me," my 
self. The disturbance is purely local. That 
awareness of self, that self-consciousness, is 
really the cause of my sorrow. I cannot con- 
scientiously accuse a god, or my fellow-man, of 
being the author of my mental pain. If I am 
honest with myself, I shall admit that, in last 
analysis, the quality of my own being determines 
the disastrous effect of sorrow. 

That which is painful to you may not be 
painful to me. Different qualities of being ex- 
pressing different desires, your loss may not be 
a loss in my opinion. But each individual is 
liable to lose, or be disappointed in, something. 
The intensity of our pain is determined by our 



22 CHALLENGING A GOD 

degree of selfishness; ultimately, by the degree 
of self-consciousness of our being. 

Should we surround our impressive being 
with a wall of ice-cold indifference ? Should we 
be altogether feelingless? I do not think this 
possible. But even if it were possible, we would 
not destroy our selfishness. No man ever has, 
or ever will, evolve beyond sorrow or pain. Even 
a Christ emptied a sorrow-filled soul when he ut- 
tered these words : " [Lord, my Lord, why hast 
Thou forsaken me? " But man may evolve to 
a degree of being that enables him to bear pain. 
The unselfish man is capable of bearing sorrow. 
The intensely self-conscious man, who values 
his own being above anything or anybody else, is 
the one who weeps and whines when disaster 
overtakes him. The unselfish man " grins and 
bears." We should not pay too much atten- 
tion to the ever-crying voice of our " me." 
We should not sympathize too much with our 
self. Such attitude will prevent us from con- 
quering. 

It is a peculiar fact that man never searches 
his own being for the solution of an existence- 
problem. I consider it my special duty to ac- 
quaint him, through the pages of this little book, 
with the almost incomprehensible value of his 
being. It is a powerful cause. It answers 
many a pertinent question relating to the great 



THE POLISHING OF MAN 23 

secret. How powerful man's being is, I actu- 
ally dare not utter in so many words. 

I realize the hopelessness of asking a Supreme 
Being to enlighten me on subjects relative to 
the mystery of existence. The only answer I 
ever received was the silence of fathomless uni- 
verse. I received my knowledge through ob- 
servation and, principally, through studying 
my own being. That existence is such a com- 
plete mystery is partly due to man's tendency to 
seek the cause of certain effects in the depths of 
the heavens. He is ever groping in the clouds 
and the imagined, but unknown, realms of a Su- 
preme Ruler. I advise him to begin his study 
with his self. The results might be startling. 



Ill 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS PERCEIVER 
OR CONSCIOUSNESS 

I know of no more puzzling, astonishing 
something than the " me " that moves the body 
of man. I am inclined to believe that alto- 
gether too much attention has been paid to that 
automaton of flesh and blood — man's physical 
appearance. The thinker of thoughts, the re- 
ceiver of impressions, the perceiver of objects, 
the dreamer of dreams, the self-centered, self- 
conscious me has been shamefully ignored. Hav- 
ing discovered the self-loving quality of this 
me, let us see what other business it has in this 
universe. 

I must yet find two people who receive the 
same impression from that orderly chaos, visi- 
ble universe. True, we do not see objects and 
beings differently, but we feel them differently. 
We are impressed differently by them. We are 
in a different manner conscious of them. 

Although that glorious heap of things that 

make up visible universe remains forever fixed 

in form and shade, its impression upon the indi- 
24 



CONSCIOUSNESS 25 

vidual may be changeable. Why, even the most 
carefree and thoughtless man admits that one 
should smile in order to see that smile reflected 
upon the world. The most simple-minded crea- 
ture will hear the world sob in answer to the 
cry of grief in his own heart. Whence that 
changeability of impression-power with which 
universe appears to be endowed ? Surely a rose 
is ever a rose, a star is ever a star, the world is 
ever the world. The luminous glory of Venus 
is the same to-day as it was yesterday. The 
perfume of the rose shall not be sweeter to-mor- 
row than it is at present. But it would appear 
that that subtle, incomprehensible me, peeping 
through or from behind its appearance of form 
and flesh-color, is capable of feeling, perceiving 
universe to-day in this manner, to-morrow in a 
different one. Although the same flower-cov- 
ered earth, the same star-filled universe, con- 
front the individual, he may yet feel them dif- 
ferently at different moments. Still more as- 
tonishing is the fact that each individual car- 
ries his own individual impression of the world 
in his heart. One would almost be inclined to 
state that universe does not lie unfurled without 
the bodily observation-tower of the human me, 
but that it exists withm me, and is hued by its 
individual colors. 

I have often wished that I might be able to 
change my me or personality, be it only for a 



26 CHALLENGING A GOD 

few moments, into that of others. I might 
then see — nay, not see, but feel, be conscious 
of — the world in the same manner as other 
individuals are conscious of it. Existence 
would then, no doubt, be a wonderful revelation ! 
We might then, perhaps, comprehend more 
clearly the why and how of all that is. 

There is but one universe to be seen, but 
there are as many universes to be felt, perceived, 
as there are human beings to feel or perceive it. 
There is, for instance, the man whose chief am- 
bition is to satisfy the selfish clamor of self. 
He is sometimes known by the name of material- 
ist, and is generally styled the selfish man. 
Walking through the still night, he may see the 
stars above his head, but he is barely conscious 
of them. No mysterious, beautiful globes roll 
through infinite depths for him ! Nothing rolls 
— except his silver, shining dollar. There is 
music in the air of night. The trees rustle, the 
leaves and the flowers lisp an incomparable lul- 
laby. Yet does this individual walk in this im- 
mensity of unnamable beauty — deaf to all 
sound, unconscious of the musical breath of 
slumbering earth. No tender, soul-stirring 

music exists for him except the ringing of 

the golden coin, except the noisy brass-band of 
his selfish me ! What should he know, this man, 
about existence, universe or God? In order to 
gain knowledge, one should pave the way by 



CONSCIOUSNESS 27 

thinking. And all his thought is centered in 
his self, and all existence is rooted in himself, 
and all the universe is reduced to the pin-point 
of his selfish self ! 

Yes, there exists a universe for this individual, 
— his universe, in fact. The world does not 
really exist without, but within, the limits of 
his self. As he is, thus is the world. Uni- 
verse has a certain value, a significance, solely 
reserved for him, for the reason that his per- 
sonality, or consciousness, or me is what it is. 
It was Schopenhauer who taught the world that 
everything exists as an idea in the soul of man ! 

There is the individual known to us as the 
poet-philosopher. I do not refer to the so- 
called poet whose world is sugar-sweet and 
whose heart is inflamed with vaudeville-cour- 
age. I am hinting at the man who is a poet as 
a consequence of his deep insight into the mar- 
vel of existence — a man like Emerson, for ex- 
ample. The being of such a man differs widely 
from that of the materialist or selfish man. The 
poet-philosopher is altogether less self-centered. 
On the whole, his attention is diverted from his 
self. His being is not so thickly wrapped in 
the cloak of self-absorption. It is, conse- 
quently, receptive to knowledge and impression. 
There is the mystery of the All to be unravelled ! 
There is the beauty of the world to be felt and 
analyzed! Many things have their being be- 



28 CHALLENGING A GOD 

side his self. There is struggling humanity, for 
instance. His fellow-man is ignorant of some 
of the laws of life that have been revealed to 
him. He must teach them — how to live, how 
to conquer misery, how to be happy in this 
world of marvel and mystery. What a beaute- 
ous world, this world of his! If there exists 
a god to him, his name spells beauty. If his 
god has attributes, they are power, wisdom, and 
universality, which attributes are beautiful in 
themselves. Beauty, wherever his eye may 
roam! Wild beauty in the roar of the tem- 
pestuous ocean; rugged, rough beauty in the 
boulder-strewn mountain-wilderness ; tender, sad 
beauty in the soul-wrung composition of a 
Chopin ; pure beauty in the sun-kissed lily ; di- 
vine, unspeakable beauty in the soul that climbs 
from out of the depths of ignorance, sin, and 
sorrow into the light of knowing and content- 
ment! 

Indeed, there exists a paradise-hued universe 
to this individual. It is altogether different 
from that of which the materialist is conscious. 
Is universe itself the cause of this extraor- 
dinary fact? Seek the answer in the being of 
man! Find the solution of many a life-prob- 
lem in man himself ! When at last you turn dis- 
gustedly from the fathomless world-depth that 
ever answers with a mocking silence, you are 
compelled to study your self. In your self, in 



CONSCIOUSNESS 29 

your me, slumbers many a secret answer. And 
this poet-philosopher is conscious of a beautiful 
universe because his being represents a certain 
quality of soul-development that is the cause of 
a distinctly marked impression. He, himself, 
is beauty, and this beauty reflects upon the 
world perceived. Universe, in fact, exists as a 
beautiful idea in his soul or consciousness. 

There exist, then, as many universes as there 
are human beings. As I am, thus is the world. 
Universe exists as an idea in my conscious 
being. 

In view of the above, we are not surprised to 
find our universe to be a changeable, moody im- 
mensity. Well I remember those days when 
the voice of my self was constantly ringing in 
my ears. I selfishly cursed my ill-luck. I self- 
ishly condemned those who apparently ob- 
structed my path of progress. I selfishly 
sympathized with my self, and consequently 
wrapped myself in a cloak of bitterness and 
melancholy. Universe? Life? The world? My 
own bitterness and sadness reflected upon the 
world. This was indeed a sad, hopeless ex- 
istence! Man was indeed a selfish, heartless 
brute! Yes, all this was truly so. As I am in 
being, thus is the world without. My self-love, 
moreover, prevented me from knowing. There 
was nothing to know but the selfish demands of 
my self. I was shut out from the realm of uni- 



30 CHALLENGING A GOD 

versa! knowing. I was ignorant; not wise, not 
spiritual. 

This self-love, the expression of self-con- 
sciousness, is the key to the life-hieroglyphics of 
existence. It explains everything except, per- 
haps, the beginning and the end which in all 
probability do not exist. Were it not for self- 
consciousness, material universe would not ex- 
ist. There would be a vast ocean of All-con- 
sciousness, which does not express itself in lim- 
ited, material form and therefore would appear 
as nothingness to self-conscious man. 

And what about the rest of the universe? 
Have we summed up our conclusions about uni- 
versal existence when we say that man is self- 
conscious being and the rest of universe is made 
up of things, just things? I sometimes wonder 
what unnamable conceit prompted man to draw 
a line of absolute distinction between himself 
and the balance of the All. Why is he totally 
different from the rest of God's beings? His 
self-love, perhaps, caused him to look at things 
in that manner. Perhaps it was the fact that a 
difference exists between him and the other in- 
mates of universe that made him blind to the 
truth that he is merely the most sublime edition 
of creation. 

I am not aware of an absolute separation be- 
tween my own being and the more humble and 
undeveloped ones of universe. I can notice but 



CONSCIOUSNESS 31 

a difference of degree. I recognize my self in 
the rigid rock, the nodding flower, the fluttering 
bird. That is to say, I find my own unfavor- 
able elemental qualities intensified in beast, and 
plant, and even mineral; I am aware of a total 
or partial absence of man's sublimer qualities in 
them. 

The solid rock, for example, speaks volumes 
of life-knowledge to me. The rock, or perhaps 
each of its particles, is a visible expression of 
intense self-consciousness. The atoms of the 
stone are so absorbed in self that even a sledge- 
hammer does not make any impression upon the 
stone. The stone does not move unless I kick 
it sufficiently hard. The " me " of the stone- 
molecule is plunged in total darkness. We say 
that the stone is lifeless, even as we sometimes 
remark about an individual that he is " dead." 

Then there is the fragrant rose. What 
lovely expression of intense self-consciousness 
that flower is ! Why, it does not even toil, 
neither does it spin. It grows and blooms 
wherever the invisible hand of universe may 
plant it. Its chief business in this world is to 
draw the nourishing essence from its little root- 
entangled earth-bed; to lift up its innocent 
petal-face to the vitalizing rays of the sun. It 
is almost completely absorbed in self. Not as 
completely as the stone, however! There are 
many indications pointing at the fact that the 



32 CHALLENGING A GOD 

flower is vaguely conscious of an outside world. 
It dies, for instance, when bereft of food and 
sunshine. From a shadowed dwelling-place it 
bends and grows in the direction of the falling 
sunbeams. Nay, I even have noticed that the 
flower is dimly aware of the presence of human 
beings! Impression, I am convinced, stirs the 
being of the flower. This impression is prob- 
ably so vague and so simple in its effect that 
we, who are literally besieged by conscious and 
unconscious, stormy and peaceful, impressions, 
do not dream of its existence. It should, more- 
over, be an unconscious impression, for the 
flower is far below the stage of man-being, 
which is particularly characterized by the indi- 
vidual's awareness of his own consciousness. 
The flower, then, is not conscious of being con- 
scious. 

Close observation made me conclude that dif- 
ferent people affect the flower in a different 
manner. The selfish or morose person cannot 
" keep " cut flowers for as long a period as the 
strong, cheerful individual can. It would seem 
that the flower is impressed (probably not con- 
sciously) by the quality of the selfish person's 
being. As a consequence thereof it quickly 
droops its head and fades away. The being of 
the noble, unselfish, cheerful man, however, im- 
presses the flower in such a manner that its life 
is prolonged. 



CONSCIOUSNESS 33 

What an interesting something — the being, 
or soul, of man! * What a glorious world, this 
huge dwelling-place of ours! Full of interest 
and marvel, indeed! I have no desire to ex- 
change it for a heaven of eternal bliss. I 
should feel infinitely bored. I should long for 
my earthly trials and my beautiful paradise of 
universe. A heaven is a fit abode for a sleepy, 
tired, discouraged individual, anyway. 

The flower, then, is a little less absorbed in 
self than the rock is, and it consequently mani- 
fests a certain amount of freedom. There is 
growth ; there is life. There is not that stony, 
death-like attitude towards the outside world. 
There is a glimmer of light in the flower, be it 
an ever so faint a one. 

Then there is the animal. What a beauti- 
fully savage expression of intense self-conscious- 
ness is the king of animals, for example ! Also 
his chief occupation in this world is the satisfy- 
ing of self. Also he is intensely self-conscious. 
His life is spent in preying on his victim that 
must furnish him his food, and in comfortably 
snoozing in a corner of his den. Yet is the 
animal less absorbed in self than the plant is. 
It is to a greater degree conscious of the All. 
It consequently enjoys a greater freedom. It 
actually moves about at will, while the plant, as 
a rule, flourishes on the spot of birth. It is, 
moreover, master over the plant, while the plant, 



34 CHALLENGING A GOD 

in turn, is master over the mineral. It is not 
fate that orders the cow to eat the grass of the 
meadow. The plant, being more intensely ab- 
sorbed in self than the animal, enjoys less free- 
dom and is the latter's slave. And in human 
life we shall see that the man who is least 
wrapped up in self enjoys the greatest freedom 
and is mentally and morally master among men. 

The least self-absorbed being in universe is 
man. Being infinitely less self-centered than 
the animal, the plant, and the mineral, he is 
their master. He is, moreover, more receptive 
to impression, and, as a consequence thereof, 
his own possibility of becoming All-knowing. 
The All is partly known to him. There is no 
death-like darkness surrounding him. There is 
no bondage of utter self -absorption limiting 
him to a condition of slavery. He is the ruler 
of physical nature. 

Needless to say that there are several de- 
grees of man-being. The sweetly self-conscious 
rose, for instance, is to be found among the 
fair maidens of this earth. We know her, the 
carefree woman-child of luxury. Her business 
in life is to lift her innocent face to the sun- 
shine-rays of comfort and pleasure. She drinks 
the self-nourishing essence of ease and happi- 
ness. She unconsciously cherishes and caresses 
her self. Little does she dream that there is a 
mighty universe scheming and moving about 



CONSCIOUSNESS 35 

her; that there is a humanity struggling for 
light and conquest of sorrow; that there is an 
invisible power weaving the web of her future; 
until one unexpected day a cruel blow from life 
startles her from her rosy dream. Then she 
wonders why. Her little head fades and 
droops. Another rose has known of bloom and 
fragrance. 

Also the beautifully savage expression of in- 
tense self-consciousness like that of a tiger or a 
lion is to be found among men. We shall find 
it in a Napoleon, in an individual bent on ma- 
terial conquest. He spares neither his own nor 
his enemy's soldiers in his turbulent rush for 
might and power. Nobody and nothing must 
obstruct his bloody path. No human or other 
voice sounds louder than that of his self. Som- 
ber and fierce his appearance, hard and deter- 
mined his expression, black and gloomy his self ; 
he stands on the battlefield of earth, shut out 
from the realms of All-knowing. An impene- 
trable fog of self-love, blood, and bullets sur- 
rounds him, until a Waterloo and subsequent 
exile divert his attention from self to an out- 
side universe which is apparently governed by 
strange and incomprehensible laws. Indeed, a 
Waterloo within the soul of the self-loving crea- 
ture is an angel in bloody disguise that shows 
the road leading to unselfishness and under- 
standing. 



36 CHALLENGING A GOD 

The highest type of man is he who does not 
listen principally to the voice of his self. Such 
man is a master-mind, a powerful hero. He is 
not a master-mind for the sake of self. He is 
not the type of hero who kills his fellow-man in 
the roaring battle. Not being held in bondage 
by the ever-crying voice of self, his freedom al- 
lows him to rule mentally and morally. He is 
the pioneer of the generation to come, some- 
times the herald of an as yet unborn race. His 
understanding, and, above all, his unselfishness, 
make him unconquerable and fearless. His self 
is not the principal factor of universe, and pain 
and sorrow are bearable. A humanity, nay, an 
entire fathomless universe exist beside his self. 
Forward ! Defeat is not known to him. There 
is no self to be wounded or pleased. 

Whether Jesus of Nazareth be a product of 
fiction, or whether he be a reality of mankind's 
history, matters little to me. Of this much 
I am convinced, that the least self-conscious 
being on earth is a Christ. Such a being is no 
longer self. He has become one with the All. 
He knows all there is to know. Why, he is 
God himself! 



IV 



MAN AND MATERIAL UNIVERSE AS 
FATE 

It is with some hesitation that I undertake 
to write the following chapter. Not because I 
am not convinced of the truth of its statements, 
but because individual experience only can bring 
us the realization of that truth. There is, in- 
deed, a great difference between accepting and 
realizing a truth. Someone may tell me that 
smoking is injurious to my health. I may ac- 
cept his statement as truth without realizing 
its truth. Only individual experience, teaching 
me that the use of nicotine is bad for me, can 
make me realize that fact. And thus I may re- 
peat a philosophy of life which I know by 
hearsay and merely accept because it sounds 
logical or plausible. I may, on the other hand, 
advocate the same philosophy for the reason 
that individual experience caused me to realize 
its truth. In the first instance I imitate the 
parrot that jabbers away, knowing not of what 
it is talking; in the second case, the truth of 
such philosophy has come to me as a revelation : 
37 



38 CHALLENGING A GOD 

I fully realize it, I know it. A revelation is the 
realization of a truth that formerly belonged to 
the realm of the unknown. The following state- 
ments, then, should be realized by the individual. 
They should be the word-expressions of the 
reader's unuttered knowledge. 

It is rather unlike man's inquisitive nature 
not to study the origin and the attributes of 
that grim and merciless pirate of universe 
known to him as " fate." He has reigned su- 
preme, this cruel tyrant, since the birth of man, 
and never has his victim even attempted to un- 
mask him or resist him. Invisible to mortal eye, 
this dreaded enemy reveals his existence by the 
effects of his blow. And while man is ever 
ready to clamor for his " rights," his " liberty," 
his " freedom," in social life, he sheepishly ac- 
cepts the lashes from the czar of universe, and 
merely sighs : " It is the hand of Fate." In- 
deed! A sorrowful mess, then, this creation of 
the All-Wise! A miserable execution of the 
eternal symphony, this life-music of ours ! 
Rather discouraging, I should say, that the 
tender strain of life's fantasy should be so un- 
expectedly interrupted by an impromptu of fate. 
One does not mind so much the fact that the 
potter amused himself by moulding pots. But 
to be a disfigured pot, cracked and coarse and 
ugly ; to be surrounded by calamity and fate — 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS FATE 39 

that cannot arouse a fervent admiration for 
the potter's abijity and goodwill! 

It is not uninteresting to observe, however, 
that there are those who overflow with " wor- 
ship " and " boundless love " for the grim old 
gentleman — principally because they are 
aware of his all-crushing might, I wager. Or 
perhaps their me is crying for health, wealth, 
and prosperity. However, this should be none 
of my affairs, provided such attitude be the 
cause of their happiness. 

I have, thus far, attempted to show that 
man's real being is a certain degree of self-con- 
sciousness. Self-love is but the natural expres- 
sion of self-consciousness. The latter attribute, 
moreover, is the receiver of all conscious and un- 
conscious impressions, and the source of all sor- 
row and happiness. The fact that the degree of 
our self-love is solely responsible for the intensity 
of our sorrow, and the fact that a silencing of 
this self-love lessens the consuming power of 
pain — these facts, I am happy to say, clear 
the record of the Supreme One of many an 
alleged crime. One monstrous accusation still 
remains, however: He is the author of that 
demon-power, fate. We shall now endeavor to 
prove that fate, also, is not one of the Al- 
mighty's destructive tools. 

No more interesting study can absorb the 
mind of man than the study of his self. It is 



40 CHALLENGING A GOD 

often puzzling and surprising to watch this self 
change its position and its surroundings in this 
life-labyrinth, guided, apparently, by the in- 
visible hand of fate. It is inspiring, nay, en- 
couraging, to find a reason for this change. 
One of the first conclusions the average think- 
ing man must draw from his observations is, 
that there exist as many fates as there exist 
human beings. How well known this truth is! 
And yet what little value has been given this 
startling discovery ! Innumerable truths about 
this marvelous me of man are the property of 
the public mind — as boasting gossip, perhaps, 
and not as realized truth. For in spite of the 
fact that these truths are being gossiped about, 
are being advanced, often, as a kind of philo- 
sophical fad, it would appear that man is yet in- 
clined to seek the essence of universal truth in 
childish vagaries, fear-created religions, and 
fanaticism. The mysterious and the supernat- 
ural, I believe, must necessarily appeal to the 
ignorant man as the only answers to the mys- 
tery of his particular universe. 

Individual experience caused me to realize 
that I am my own fate. When I first awoke 
from the rosy dream of childhood, well-meaning 
people planned a future life for me. I should 
become a banker, they said. I should spend 
my days in a dusty office, signing checks and 
drafts; carefully balancing my mind and soul 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS FATE 41 

in a universe of infinite beauty and marvel; 
cultivating a profit-and-loss conception of life, 
God, and heaven. Rather a cruel arrangement 
to make for an incorrigible idealist and 
dreamer ! 

I am still unspeakably thankful that merciless 
fate administered me a blow that planted me, 
penniless, homeless, and friendless, in the heart 
of the American prairies. My being, knowing 
its own nature, its own qualities, and, there- 
fore, its own ambitions, had advised me to spend 
my days in studying the depths of life's marvel. 
I had preferred to listen to this irresistible 
voice rather than to the scratching sound of 
check-signing pens. Subsequent poverty and 
struggle were effects of a known cause — my 
self. They were, moreover, inspirations that 
revealed many a treasure-house of knowledge. 
That knowledge and that experience came in 
response to a demand made by — my self. No 
man who is not acquainted with all sides of life 
— with the monotonous, soul-sapping flim-flam 
of luxurious society and the inspiring cry of 
life's battlefield, " fight and conquer " — no man, 
I say, who has not experienced life as a whole, 
is in a position to teach people about it. A 
pity-arousing thought, that of a silk-hat- 
domed and patent-leather-shoed preacher drift- 
ing on the contents of the Bible and the 
fat income derived therefrom, teaching people 



42 CHALLENGING A GOD 

about life! What does he know of the many 
temptations with which a poverty-stricken hu- 
man brute is surrounded? What does he know 
of the origin of sin, and the comparative ease 
of committing it in spite of sermons and moral 
warnings ? Better sin and suffer, and then with 
a realization in your soul teach your brother, 
than to be good and saintly, and parade with 
moral teachings which you do not realize and of 
which you know nothing. 

Was it fate that guided me to the prairies, 
poverty, and struggle? Was it fate that 
taught me in such manner about the laws of life 
and universe? Had I offered my banker's fu- 
ture to a man guided by ambitions for financial 
success, his pen would still be scratching signa- 
tures on checks — not, I am convinced, because 
fate had compelled him to do so ; but because 
his being is what it is, and its quality demanded 
particular life-conditions. 

I would call this strange law that guides the 
human being the law of individual fate. It is 
difficult to define this law in so many words. 
It is not even easily discovered, because the 
average individual is not yet conscious of its 
complicated operations. It operates in spite 
of our knowledge of it. The only thing needed 
for the activity of the law of individual fate is 
an individual. The individual himself is that 
law. Fate without a being to act upon is un- 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS FATE 43 

thinkable. Fate and the individual are neces- 
sarily one. The fictions of fate will be in har- 
mony with the soul-quality, the degree of de- 
velopment or self-consciousness of the individual 
me. Although our natural skepticism would 
tempt us to ridicule this theory of individual 
fate, we are yet vaguely aware of the existence 
of such power. Even the slang-filled mouth 
of the Broadway loafer unconsciously utters a 
volume of wisdom when it says : " He got what 
was coming to him." Something happened to 
the object of his comment; something natural, 
apparently ; something that should have hap- 
pened to him; something that could only have 
happened to that particular individual, because 
his being, his me, is what it is. 

We study our fellow-man; we try to discover 
his soul-qualities, his generosity or selfishness, 
his faith or weakness, his ambition or laziness. 
And we come to a certain conclusion regarding 
his fate. His fate should be thus and such, be- 
cause the quality of his being is so and so. Nor 
can we think of an intensely self-absorbed being, 
satisfying the cry of his self with liquor and 
base passions, becoming the president of the 
United States. 

Simple, is it not, this law of individual fate? 
Not only simple, but encouraging. We do not 
now see the need of heaping all responsibility 
for our fatal and wicked actions on the in- 



44 CHALLENGING A GOD 

visible shoulders of an unknown god. We are 
spared the disheartening duty of accusing a Su- 
preme Being of wilful meanness. Our being, 
with its good and bad qualities, its experienced 
knowledge and its lack of knowledge, is fate. 
It acts like a magnet, drawing itself into condi- 
tions and surroundings, calling forth blows and 
blessings, that are essential to its growth. 
This growth, as stated elsewhere, is the growth 
of All-consciousness — the only development 
known in material universe. What self-con- 
sciousness loses in degree, All-consciousness 
gains. An expression of this gain is an in- 
crease in knowledge or All-knowing, and a de- 
crease in ignorance and selfishness. When 
man's being has developed to a certain point, he 
is partly conscious of the fact that it is its 
own fate. The average man does not realize 
this, however. He therefore attributes the 
cause of his hither and thither thrown life to 
the whimsical nature of a god or a fatal power, 
which god and fatal power exist in separation 
from his own being. 

It is impossible for me to know myself in 
absolute separation from that beautiful universe 
of ours. I am aware of an invisible tie bind- 
ing me to All that is and making man and uni- 
verse one. Comparing myself with the other 
beings of universe, I observe no difference but 
one of degree in being. I am aware of in- 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS FATE 45 

tensified qualities of darkness here, and in- 
creased brilliancy* of light elsewhere. Laws and 
principles, I am satisfied, do not govern the 
being of man only. They direct the being of 
the flower, the molecule, and the electron. The 
very same laws that govern man's being govern 
all beings and so-called things. There is a dif- 
ference in action, only; which difference is one 
of degree, and depends upon the quality or 
development of the being. Which law, for in- 
stance, commands an atom of oxygen to com- 
bine with two atoms of hydrogen? Why does 
this chemical action take place invariably? 
That law, I should say, is the law of individual 
fate. I cannot imagine a voice, existing sepa- 
rate from and beyond the being-sphere of the 
atom, commanding it to go into partnership 
with two other atoms. The voice is the atom 
itself, the being of the atom. It is because the 
being of the atom of hydrogen is what it is, 
and the being of the oxygen-atom is what it is, 
that the above-mentioned chemical action takes 
place. Each atom is its own fate! 

That profound thinker whose being has in- 
deed reached a rare degree of All-consciousness, 
Professor Edgar Lucien Larkin, in speaking of 
the world of atoms and electrons, uttered the 
following words of wisdom : " All is mind, all 
is life, even the electron." Different expres- 
sions need not necessarily be the expressions of 



46 CHALLENGING A GOD 

different ideas. Moreover, a hundred different 
expressions are often inadequate to utter a 
truth about the realm of the unseen. The 
word " mind," I believe, is rather deceptive. 
One might be inclined to fancy an infinitesimal 
brain scheming and thinking in an atom of 
hydrogen. The atom, for instance, does not 
reason with itself as follows : " Now I will 
call a pal, and combine with that oxygen fel- 
low." There is no question whatever of a rea- 
soning, arguing, or thinking process. The 
atom is being guided by the magnetic power of 
its being, its consciousness. Its actions are au- 
tomatic. It is not aware of being conscious. 
Its movements through universe are unknown to 
itself. This automatic action, this individual 
fate, is the guiding power of all " things " and 
beings that build up universe. It is the guiding 
power of the electron, the atom, the flower, the 
animal, and the human being. The less ab- 
sorbed in self the being is, the greater the num- 
ber and the variety of happenings it, itself, 
harbors as possibilities. Even the average man 
of to-day is barely conscious of the fatal power 
of his own personality. True, he is beginning 
to courageously admit that his own being has 
some creative value; that it is the cause of at 
least a few effects. But his theories are " in- 
teresting talk," " something new," more than 
realized truth. People are still inclined to seek 



MAN AND UNIVERSE AS FATE 47 

the author of their fate in a power existing in 
separation froin. their own being. This, I 
should think, is a natural inclination. All an- 
swers to questions, however, shall ultimately be 
found in the being of the questioner. My own 
soul has sent out its cries of agony through the 
depths of the world, accusing a Supreme Being : 
" Thou didst that to me ! " He never denied 
or admitted his guilt. The only answer I re- 
ceived was the eternal silence of the All. 

A study of one's self may be the cause of in- 
finite satisfaction. The man who realizes that 
his carelessness — : and not fate or God — may 
be the cause of a possible fall is a wise man. 
The man who knows that certain dark spots 
and imperfect qualities of his Being are, and 
may be, the cause of disagreeable happenings 
and circumstances meeting him is a master-mind 
in embryo. And he who knows that he, him- 
self, is fate ; that he shall reap as he has sown ; 
that by perfecting his being, his fate shall be- 
come more perfect — such man is the uncon- 
querable creator of his own successful life! 



FATE AND THE GREAT EUROPEAN 
WAR 

While I am writing these lines, " fate " is 
swooping down upon the European continent, 
covering it with a shroud of blood and bullets 
and agony. It may not be uninteresting to in- 
vestigate the cause of this wholesale butchery, 
and to determine what part individual fate is 
playing in this universal calamity. Indeed, 
this war is a subject worthy of discussion. As 
an event in the history of mankind it stands in 
importance and magnitude next to the insub- 
ordination of Adam and Eve in the Garden of 
Eden. Its possible consequences are incalcu- 
lable. The " fate " of many a king and em- 
peror is undergoing a decided change. The 
foundation of many a youthful nation is being 
strengthened. The dream of many a human- 
ity-lover is adopting the shape of an etherial 
possibility. 

Many are the explanations given for the 
forthcoming of this catastrophe. Servia, Aus- 
tria, Russia, Germany, France, and England 

are in turn being accused of having lit the fuse 

48 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 49 

of the bomb of war. No two opinions are alike. 
But the real cause of this world-misery, I be- 
lieve, has not been discovered. Nor is it being 
realized that this war is the inevitable effect of 
an inevitable cause. 

My wholehearted indignation was aroused by 
the fact that a czar or an emperor commanded 
his soldiers to pray to God for victory of 
arms. Of what sort of a god are these indi- 
viduals conscious, anyway? I should think 
that they are either ignorant, superstitious 
self-lovers, or else that they know better, and 
use a hypocritical god-idea as a means to in- 
spire their subjects to kill their fellow-men. I 
have no patience with such imperial behaviour. 
It is simply damnable, and as repulsively crim- 
inal as can be imagined. Better know of the 
Devil, and kill on one's own responsibility, than 
solicit the approval of a creator and make him 
the author of a world-crime! 

I give my whole-souled sympathy and pity 
to those who in all sincerity beg of God to avert 
the continuation of this war. And he who does 
so for the sake of being good and pious in the 
eyes of the public is in need of even more than 
human sympathy and pity. 

It is pitiful, indeed, that man in the year 1914 
is not endowed with a little more common sense. 
It would appear that God has no intention 
whatever of halting the bloodthirsty armies of 



50 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Europe. Why did he, the Almighty One, al- 
low them to clash in the first place? Princi- 
pally, I believe, because he has nothing to do 
with the whole miserable affair and knows ab- 
solutely nothing of it. 

Now let us try, aided by a little common 
sense, to determine who or what is responsible 
for the great European war. 

The observation power of a horse or a cow 
is needed to realize that the ruin of a window 
is caused by a stone hurled in the latter's di- 
rection. The stone, indeed, did it. A little 
more intelligence is needed to trace the power 
that hurled the stone. And a certain amount 
of wisdom is required to understand and know 
the cause that prompted that power to hurl 
the stone. 

The many stones that smashed the windows 
of Europe's peace-palace are being discussed 
with great fervor and animosity. And the 
powers that hurled these stones are vaguely 
known to the public. But the primary cause 
that set these powers in motion is absolutely 
unknown to the world, because humanity is as 
yet not blessed with life-knowledge. 

The average soul-development of Europe's 
inhabitants is about half a century behind the 
1914-mark. We have already seen that the 
growth in man is the growth of individual un- 
selfishness and All-knowing — an expression of 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 51 

a greater degree of All-consciousness. One 
must have lived hi the United States and Eu- 
rope both, in order to be able to notice the im- 
portant superiority of the American being- 
above the European. The me of Europe's in- 
dividuals, and especially that of its rulers, is 
a lover of self, to such an extent, indeed, that 
it either humors or disgusts the universal, 
broadminded, generous American. 

To what extent thought of self is ruling the 
masses of Europe, one who has not lived the 
European life can scarcely comprehend. Suf- 
ficiently foolish and antique appears the position 
of czar and kaiser to the average twentieth-cen- 
tury-mind, I presume. What, indeed, is a 
king that he should be clothed in ermine and 
purple ; that he should rule and command ; that 
he should voice a public sentiment which is not 
the expression of the public? He is, no doubt, 
a relic of ancient tyranny and barbarism; a 
vague reminder of the past, when people were 
sufficiently developed to be slaves. 

Extraordinary that clothes, outward appear- 
ance, life's false and gaudy show, should over- 
awe the public! A priest demands respect, 
and sometimes fear — not because he is what 
he is, but for the reason that he wears his sol- 
emn, black attire. A policeman is an au- 
thority-inspiring being on account of his 
uniform, while his soul-value may not amount 



52 CHALLENGING A GOD 

to a row of pins. And a king! Who is not 
impressed by the crown, the sword, the throne, 
the army, the palace of a king ! 

Kings and emperors are working overtime. 
They play an entirely superfluous part in the 
world's business. Their presence belongs to 
the scenes of the Middle Ages. In those days 
the me of man was a greater lover of self, and 
totally ignorant of the supreme principle of the 
universe : individual liberty. Should one be sur- 
prised to see " fate " swoop down one of these 
days, and sweep throne and crown into oblivion? 
No, I suppose. 

What horrifying expression of self-love is a 
government of Russia ! How miserably ab- 
sorbed in self are the rulers and the mighty 
of that slav empire! Almost inconceivably so, 
in the opinion of the generous mind! And 
what is the meaning of the existence of innu- 
merable class-distinctions in Europe? We 
know of old nobility, new nobility, wealthy 
classes, middle classes, working classes, com- 
mon classes, and the " canaille," or " peuple," 
or scum of humanity. A member of the new 
nobility is not fit to be touched by a descendant 
from an old noble house. A middle class man 
is unworthy of the attention from a wealthy 
man. The workingman is a slave in every re- 
spect. A member of the " masses " should ever 
be ready to apologize for his existence. 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 53 

What causes such miserable expressions of 
brotherly love, you ask? Seek the answer in 
the me of man. The European individual is, 
in comparison with the American, extremely 
absorbed in self. The voice of his self is to 
such a degree all-predominant that he satisfies 
himself at the expense of his fellow-man. He 
expresses the self-centeredness of his being 
through a selfish narrowmindedness. He 
tramples on his less fortunate brother. His 
being is barred from All-knowing; he is, conse- 
quently, ignorant of the laws of life and ex- 
istence. In short,, the European soul has not 
unfolded to the degree of development attained 
by the American soul. Should one be sur- 
prised to see " fate " deal a blow to the Euro- 
pean man that shall furnish him the experience 
needed for the discovery of another tip of 
truth's garment? 

The average European soul, then, by being 
in quality behind the signs of the times, is in- 
viting progress or growth to interfere. And 
never knew we progress but it walked over de- 
struction. It destroys the old, and upon the 
sepulchre of the old it builds a better new. 
Yesterday's death is to-day's birth. This is 
true whenever we can possibly speak of growth. 
Such war as is now raging in Europe takes 
place in miniature in the soul of man. When- 
ever my being is on the verge of growth, and my 



54 CHALLENGING A GOD 

habits and actions do not reach the degree of 
sublimity demanded by the quality of my soul, 
a revolution is bound to shake the very founda- 
tions of my self. Sorrow, pain, and struggle 
assault me. Not understanding the cause of 
my sufferings, I may resent my misery and con- 
sequently intensify my pain. In the end, how- 
ever, no matter how long my struggle may have 
lasted, a new me shall arise from the ruins of 
my former self; a new me, with greater experi- 
ence, greater wisdom, less love of self — in 
short, a better me. 

History teaches us that a French Revolution 
built a more tolerable, a better France on the 
blood-drenched grave of an unbearable, utterly 
selfish France. A study of our earth reveals 
the fact that a huge but coarser fauna and 
flora were gradually annihilated by calamity 
and disaster, by floods and storms. A new 
and higher order of vegetation and animal life 
took their place in existence. The Canadian 
Rockies, for instance, have been the silent wit- 
nesses of the disastrous proceedings of prog- 
ress. At their feet rolled immense forests of 
tropical vegetation; then the oceans leaped the 
continental barriers and covered this immensity 
of trees — yes, totally annihilated the old. 
To-day, the rich soil of the Canadian prairies 
covers vast beds of coal remains, proving the 
existence of a past, a " some time," a " some- 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 55 

where." To-day, the country born from de- 
struction promises to become the cradle of a 
mighty nation.' Strange, the ways of fate! 
But very often rather suitable to our taste and 
demands, I should think. 

In that country beyond the Atlantic, then, 
human beings are not living up to the princi- 
ples of truth that are now the property of this 
planet. A century ago, these principles were 
unknown to the then less developed souls. 
People lived up to a less sublime ideal, which 
was neverless the ideal of a less advanced hu- 
manity. The irresistible hand of progress, in- 
vited by millions of human beings collectively, 
is playing fearful havoc among Europe's pop- 
ulation. The old is being destroyed. The 
better new shall emerge from the ruins of the 
old. Emperors and kings shall mourn their lost 
glory and power. Individual tyranny shall 
slowly retreat before the people's voice. In- 
tense thought of self shall lose what individual 
liberty shall gain. A spiritually and mentally 
better world shall emerge from the smoke of 
ruin and gunpowder. This is the law — 
which God nor priest nor saint can alter! 
This is the law that operates at the unuttered 
command of the individual. Nay, this law is 
the individual ; it is you ! 

Utter not your prayers to a god who is 
totally ignorant of the conditions that prevail 



56 CHALLENGING A GOD 

in Europe. Do not hold him responsible for 
this calamity, nor beg of him to interfere. The 
answer to both your accusation and your 
prayer shall be — the everlasting silence of 
eternity. Have the courage to realize that 
your own soul-value determines your happiness 
and sorrow, your fortune and calamity in this 
life. Know the disaster of Europe to be the 
creation of Europe's mdividuals. " As you 
sow, you shall reap " is a saying that expresses 
the law of individual fate. " As you are you 
shall sow " is the primary truth of individu- 
ality. Your soul-value, then, you, your me, 
the individual, is the creator of your life-condi- 
tions. A time of soul-progress shall come 
when the individual is conscious of this fact, 
and does not create unknowingly. 



And how, then, does this European massacre 
affect our United States? I should remark 
here that this country is the home of an alto- 
gether new race; a race far superior to any 
other one nestling on this globe. National 
pride might perhaps invite an admission of this 
truth. A study of the European nations, how- 
ever, should give us the full realization of the 
same. It is perhaps uttering a platitude to 
state that Americans are broad-minded and uni- 
versal. But the knowledge that this broad- 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 57 

mindedness is the natural expression of a uni- 
verse-conscious soul has the value of a revela- 
tion. The average American man is the least 
absorbed in self of all the individuals on earth. 
He consequently expresses a less degree of 
selfishness, tyranny, orthodoxy, and all those 
qualities that prevent freedom and liberty from 
reigning supreme. Class-distinction is hardly 
noticeable in this country. Aristocracy is but 
a dream of the past. The only acknowledged 
nobility is the nobility of the soul. 

Little do the Americans themselves realize that 
they represent the highest degree of man-de- 
velopment on earth. The growth of man is in 
reality the growth of his All-consciousness, an 
expression of which is the growth of unselfish- 
ness. This growth has reached its present cli- 
max in the American soul. Spiritually, men- 
tally, and morally, he is master, this much criti- 
cised American individual. Who ever knew a 
man to lead a nation — a man so utterly deaf 
to his voice of self, a man so intensely aware of 
a struggling humanity, a man so all-conscious 
— like Woodrow Wilson? True, there are 
many such noble beings dispersed among the 
masses. They often are unnoticed, possibly 
because their position in life is a humble one. 
But infinitely more credit deserves he who lives 
up to his ideals, even when an exalted position 
might tempt him to save his self by pleasing 



58 CHALLENGING A GOD 

others. Carlyle, no doubt, would call that 
man, Wilson, an ideal king or hero. This man 
is too great to be appreciated at present, I 
fear. He is the pioneer of a coming genera- 
tion. The blows of criticism aimed at him are 
principally moved by self-interest. It is clear 
that Wilson does not tolerate graft, greed, and 
unfairness. It is equally clear that his posi- 
tion of defender of his ideals among self-cen- 
tered, self-loving members of " Big Business " 
is an extremely difficult one, demanding the 
courage and the self-sacrifice of a hero. 

A knowledge of the average soul-development 
of the American man is material enough for 
the prediction of this nation's future. The law 
of individual fate is active in America to-day. 
The American, being what he is, demands a 
particular fate for his country. This fate is 
a period of greatness. I may safely predict 
that this nation shall hold the first position 
among the nations of the earth ere many years 
shall have passed. And see how admirably this 
law of individual fate is performing its irre- 
sistible duty! While the old country has in- 
vited destruction to purify its retarded soul, 
this nation receives the opportunity for growth 
which its law of individual fate demanded. We 
hear of American merchant marines, of the 
stars and stripes ruling the waters of the seas ! 
How inexplicably simple, and yet how incom- 



FATE AND THE EUROPEAN WAR 59 

prehensibly fitting into all conditions on this 
globe — this law of individual fate ! 

This marvelous law does not only guide the 
nations of the earth; it rules the atom, the 
flower, the planet, the nebulae, and also, indeed, 
the individual. Are you anxious to know your 
fate? Study your self, its good and bad quali- 
ties. Discover the qualities that your being 
lacks. A blow of cruel " fate " shall undoubt- 
edly invite you to become conscious of that very 
quality. Be a man ! Take both your ups and 
downs with a smile. Know that you are your 
own fate. If by chance your fate does not sat- 
isfy you, then, I say, change your me, and 
your fate shall change likewise. Do not burden 
an unknown god with your many troubles and 
complaints. Neither accuse him of tormenting 
you. He should indeed require an army of 
stenographers to record the complaints and re- 
quests of 1500 million people, not to mention 
the millions that probably inhabit other globes. 



VI 

THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 

This chapter is written in defense of the 
criminal and the convict. I do not intend to 
belittle the seriousness of crime ; but I am anx- 
ious to seek an excuse, if such there is, for the 
author of crime. If I am successful, I must 
come to the conclusion that the criminal should 
be treated like a patient ; that he should be at- 
tended to by doctors of wisdom, who shall teach 
him some of the truths of life. As matters 
stand to-day, a criminal is a despised being, a 
dangerous animal locked up in an iron cage, 
with his own miserable soul as his only com- 
panion. He is doomed to insanity or soul-star- 
vation. Intellectual and moral development are 
denied him. Not a word of conversation or 
kindness remind him of the fact that he is hu- 
man. Not a single object of glorious universe 
impresses his soul with the beauty of being. 
His home is the bare cell ; his companion, the 
grim warden ; his soul-food, the rough orders 
and the attitude of repulsiveness from outsid- 
ers. 

60 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 61 

A prominent preacher in San Francisco not 
long ago severely criticized a daily paper on 
account of its anxiety to assist discharged pris- 
oners in obtaining work. The reverend gentle- 
man, no doubt, thought it wicked to give one's 
sympathy to prisoners. The incident shows 
what egotistical, narrow-minded ideas even a 
teacher of the word of God may cherish. I am 
vaguely reminded of one or two sayings, " Judge 
not " and " Do unto others " and " Love your 
brother," and hope that this preacher did not 
break any of these commandments. For my 
part, I believe that the man who is thoroughly 
good, and who knows how to help himself, does 
not require my sympathy and advice. I prefer 
to give it to the ignorant individual, the one 
who brings himself into trouble. And it would 
seem to me that imprisonment, the loss of lib- 
erty and life itself, the bereavement of sunshine 
and social intercourse, is the worst calamity that 
can befall a human being. I shudder when I 
imagine myself behind the iron bars . . . ! 

In order to find the origin of crime, one should 
expand his thought-sphere beyond the limits 
of self-interest and prejudice. The trouble 
with most students of social problems and life's 
philosophy is that they are unable to penetrate 
beyond the boundaries of their immediate sur- 
roundings and their impressions. Their view- 
point is limited; their opinions are prejudiced, 



62 CHALLENGING A GOD 

and hued with the colors of their personal me. 
The criminal, as a rule, is being condemned be- 
cause his actions are repulsive to the me of the 
one who condemns. Not only the criminal is 
condemned in such a manner, but even the or- 
dinary human being. When a person acts in 
a manner of which I do not approve, my nat- 
ural impulse is to judge and condemn him. I 
do not always pause and consider the " why " 
of his actions. My first knowledge is that / 
do not approve of them; I am ready, there- 
fore, to denounce him as a wicked and unprin- 
cipled man. 

This sort of judgment from a personal view- 
point — a judgment based upon what I am, 

what I know, and what I am able to grasp 

is an infinite source of quarrels and tears. Peo- 
ple, as a rule, selfishly cling to their own ideas 
only, and cannot see " the other fellow's " view- 
point. 

In discussing crime, then, I will not judge 
the criminal from the basis of my own good- 
ness and my own soul-quality. Instead, I will 
take the position of an impartial observer of the 
universe, whose eye has been caught by that 
very astonishing individual, the criminal. What 
causes crime? Such is the first question I shall 
ask myself. It is, of course, more satisfactory 
to reason as follows : " That man's actions are 
repulsive to me. Lock him up, and be done 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 63 

with him." But I doubt whether this is the 
most logical and generous attitude to take in 
the matter. Nor do I think that such pro- 
ceedings are liable to do away with crime. We 
should not kill a patient, but try to conquer his 
disease. 

Looking around in this life of ours, I count 
nothing but criminals. I do not know of one 
single exception. The first criminal I discov- 
ered was myself. True, there are several de- 
grees of crime. We know, for instance, of in- 
tense degrees that endanger public safety. 
And we lock in a. convict-cell those who are thus 
marked by the creating hand. But there are 
subtler degrees of crime, which one person is in- 
clined to consider as such, another not. In- 
deed, many actions and viewpoints are crim- 
inal when considered in the light of absolute 
truth, but perfectly good or harmless in the 
opinion of the public at large. Whether an 
action be considered criminal or not, depends 
largely upon the moral ideal of humanity, upon 
the degree of soul-development of the human 
race. As this ideal is becoming more noble and 
perfect as the years roll by, it is clear that 
some actions that are considered good or harm- 
less to-day, may be called criminal a century 
hence. 

Man's real being is self-consciousness, which 
expresses itself in material life through thought 



64 CHALLENGING A GOD 

of self in general, and by greed and selfishness 
in particular cases. We have seen that there 
are innumerable degrees of self-consciousness 
among the people of the earth ; that a degree of 
self-consciousness corresponds and harmonizes 
with a certain degree of ignorance about the 
laws governing the human being and the out- 
side universe. If we substitute the expression 
" intense degree of self-consciousness " with " a 
low stage of development," we come to the con- 
clusion that the man whose being is but little 
developed is absolutely ignorant of the laws of 
life, much more so than the average individual. 
And when I say " ignorant," I mean it in the 
absolute sense of the word. 

Philosophers should become better acquainted 
with the fact that to Know is to realize through 
experience. I may believe anything someone 
tells me, without "knowing it to be true. Indi- 
vidual life-experience only, through many a 
blow and a tear, can make me realize a truth. 
If already realized, my intuition or conscience 
or moral convictions prevent me from violating 
that which my being has experienced to be true. 

It is, perhaps, not uninteresting to remark 
that as innumerable people are born with in- 
numerable differences in degree of soul-devel- 
opment, their beings, in some incomprehensible 
manner, enter life with a certain amount of 
experience and realization of truth. Whence 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 65 

that soul-development, experience and realiza- 
tion of truth, ^you ask? I do not know. I 
shall discuss this matter in my chapter " Con- 
jectures." 

There are individuals, then, whose beings are 
in development far below the average. Their 
self-consciousness is intense in comparison with 
that of the average man. Their ignorance of 
universe and the laws of life is marked. Their 
knowing does not go beyond that of the de- 
mands of their self. They live in total self- 
absorption, total darkness. Indulging in habits 
that please their passions, their self, is one of 
their characteristics. They do not shrink from 
taking, secretly or by force, the object of their 
desire. Are they not commanded by that irre- 
sistible voice of self that overthunders the voice 
of danger, and induces them to proceed at any 
risk ? You say that they know better. I claim 
that they do not know better. They know of 
a law that forbids them to do certain things. 
They fear this law, and consider it to be the 
enemy of their self, the bereaver of their free- 
dom. They have been told that it is wicked 
to lie, to steal, or to murder. They do not 
realize this. If they did realize it, they would 
not steal or lie. Their voice of self is far 
stronger than the moral warning uttered by 
others ; far stronger, even, than the fear of a 
penitentiary. In fact, they cannot help being 



66 CHALLENGING A GOD 

criminals, for they cannot help being what they 
are. 

This, then, is the main point of my argu- 
ment: A criminal commits his crimes because 
his being is what it is; because his me is still 
in the grasp of intense, almost savage, self-con- 
sciousness. This is not the criminal's fault. 
We should, therefore, condemn all crime, but 
pity and nurse the criminal. No human being 
is responsible for what he is, not consciously re- 
sponsible, at least, when he enters life on his 
day of birth. Let us remember this undenia- 
ble fact! And crime is not so much the manu- 
factured product of the individual as the neces- 
sary expression of his being, for the degree of 
development of which he is not responsible. 

Thought of self, the life-expression of self- 
centeredness, is the sole author of all crime and 
wickedness. The less self-conscious the indi- 
vidual is, the nobler his actions and ideas are. 
There are innumerable degrees of self-conscious- 
ness, and, consequently, innumerable degrees of 
crime. Man himself has drawn the line where 
virtue becomes wickedness. His judgment is 
based upon the moral ideal of the race ; which 
ideal, in turn, is the expression of the aver- 
age soul-development of humanity. When a 
man trespasses beyond the man-made virtue- 
line, he enters the domain of chastising law. 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 67 

All other acts, actions, and ideas are not 
criminal — m the opinion of the world! 

Maybe there are some highly developed be- 
ings who discover sin where the average man 
does not. Warfare, for instance, is considered 
by millions of people to be a legitimate under- 
taking. Some, however, think it damnable and 
sinful. Many Americans, the representatives of 
the new race mentioned in my last chapter, vig- 
orously protest against the crime of war. Is 
it not a crime, after all? It is the expression 
of thought of self, the worst enemy of human- 
kind at large and. the individual in particular. 
Self-interest (a more moderate term for greed 
and selfishness) commands armies of soldiers to 
kill their fellow-travellers through eternity. 
The man who murders his brother for the sake 
of self, contracts a life-term in the penitentiary 
under ordinary circumstances. The law pro- 
nounces him a dangerous criminal. But in 
war . . . ! Everything is fair in war, they say 

— a logic that transcends the limits of my com- 
prehension. 

I will say, moreover, that a man like Christ 

— in my opinion the perfection of man-being, 
as far as I am able to judge — must have no- 
ticed an innumerable variety of sinful qualities 
in the human being, which qualities were un- 
known to the average mind of his age, — nay, 



68 CHALLENGING A GOD 

even unnoticed by the average mind of to-day! 
Jesus, however, did not condemn or judge the 
individual, although he strongly resented the 
latter's imperfect ideas and deeds, proving to 
me his deep insight into the marvel of existence. 
That man, Jesus, must have been a person 
whose being represented a soul-development 
which could hardly fit even into our present age. 
I am not surprized that people called him God, 
and made such a sorry, fantastic mess of his 
teachings. They could but repeat his words 
and parables without realizing their truth. 
" Seeing they saw not, hearing they heard not, 
neither did they understand. Therefore spoke 
he to them in parables." 

Jesus' soul-development, I am convinced, was 
such that intense self-consciousness had been al- 
most entirely replaced by All-consciousness. 
His being, then, expressed thought for others, 
thought of the All, instead of thought of self. 
His life is a marvelous exhibition of unselfish- 
ness. We to-day cannot live up to Christ's 
ideals. Some people realize this so deeply 
that, in their ignorance, they ridicule his ideas. 
Others, possessed by a religious fervor, carefully 
repeat his words and imitate his mode of living, 
imagining often that they are living the life 
of a Christ. More than imitation, however, is 
needed for such an accomplishment. Only 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 69 

when we are something do we live some- 
thing. No painstaking exercises, no feverish 
repeating of holy utterances, — nay, not even 
faithful copying from a great teacher, — can 
make us a perfect man. But when we are per- 
fect in soul, a perfect life and noble actions 
are the necessary expressions of such a soul. 
The perfecting of man's being should be left to 
natural individual growth, which is furthered 
by soul-experience. The mere reading of a 
good book, the mere copying from a good 
teacher, do not make me good. All a teacher 
and a book can possibly accomplish is to clothe 
that which I unconsciously realize in my soul 
in human words and symbols. In other words, 
a teacher or a book may give expression to what 
I am. If a true teaching is beyond my com- 
prehension, it is the word-expression of higher 
developed beings than I am. 

Jesus does not deserve credit for his good- 
ness. To express goodness was a necessity to 
him. He could not very well help being good; 
he was not responsible for the perfect quality 
of his being. Being aware of his great under- 
standing, I expect him to answer all praise and 
flattery with this question : " Why callest thou 
me good? " Indeed, what praise do I deserve 
for my goodness and generosity? Am I re- 
sponsible for what I am? Most decidedly not! 



70 CHALLENGING A GOD 

If I am, I am so unconsciously; and one can- 
not very well speak of responsibility in that 
case. 

This great human family of ours is a gather- 
ing of innumerable beings representing innu- 
merable degrees of soul-development. Each in- 
dividual realizes, grasps, and perceives to the 
extent his limit of development allows him to. 
Beyond that limit he cannot go. Each indi- 
vidual's life is a necessary expression of what 
he is. Beyond the limits of his being he can- 
not express himself. When a person's being 
is not highly developed, his life-expression — 
his ideas, ideals, ambitions, and actions — ap- 
pears to be far from perfect in the opinion of 
one whose being is more advanced. But the 
latter has no earthly right to condemn the 
former. The first person's actions are bad in 
the opinion of the second one. He, the more 
developed, wiser being, should not act in such 
a manner; his behaviour would then be sin in 
the absolute sense of the word; he would then 
sin against his better understanding; his ac- 
tions would not be harmonious with the degree 
of sublimity of his being. 

We should, therefore, condemn all wicked- 
ness, but refrain from condemning the individ- 
ual. " Judge not, that ye may not be judged." 
There might be a better, nobler, wiser man who 
might judge you, if he so desired. All our 



THE ORIGIN OF CRIME 71 

sympathy and nobler feelings should be the 
criminal's. Verily, he needs them. He is a 
born invalid, expressing his crippled being in 
a most pitiful manner, suffering heavily for ex- 
pressing himself in such an imperfect way. If his 
wickedness is such that it imperils public safety, 
we cannot do better than be his guardian. Not 
a frowning, rough, cruel, contempt-expressing 
guardian, however! One cannot cure a patient 
by loathing him. The criminal is just as much 
in need of life, sunshine, and impression as any 
other human being is. We certainly do not 
wish to kill that little spark of soul in the crim- 
inal altogether, do we ? No ; our generous 
Christian endeavour is to make it burst into a 
bright flame. 



VII 

VISIBLE EXPRESSION OF THE 
INVISIBLE 

I shall now discuss a subject well known to 
my intelligent readers, the truth of which, how- 
ever, has not struck him as being beyond the 
ordinary. I am referring to the subject of ex- 
pression. 

Everything in this world is the expression of 
something invisible. When, for instance, I see 
a man, I do not see the real man; I merely see 
the visible expression of his invisible, funda- 
mental being. This statement is so logical, so 
well known, that we need not exhaust our supply 
of arguments in order to prove it. The ques- 
tion that interests us most is : How can we 
read the invisible, fundamental being from its 
visible or sensible expression? It is difficult to 
answer this question with a rule or a law. I 
cannot make the matter clearer than by stating 
that the physical man is the exact expression 
of his personality or soul. As an illustration, 
I may refer to a defective lamp that radiates 
imperfect light, and a good lamp giving better 
light. 

72 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 73 

Man is too much inclined to know a combi- 
nation of form, color, and substance to be the 
real thing. A study of his self may easily con- 
vince him that his idea is an erroneous one. 
This marvelous body-machinery of mine is, after 
all, but the servant of my real me. I com- 
mand it to move ; it obeys. It would even ap- 
pear that certain parts of the body have been 
given self-government in order to reduce the 
rush at headquarters. 

Did you ever pay much attention to a state- 
ment made by an expert on criminology : " He 
is the type of a criminal " ? Is the physical 
man the criminal, or is that bodily appearance 
merely the visible expression of the little-de- 
veloped being? 

Did you ever study the features, the appear- 
ance, of a great man? No doubt you have. 
Our novels and magazines teem with descrip- 
tions of great and noble men, of heroes and 
martyrs. We read of firm features, strong 
chins, noble brows, belonging to the strong and 
noble soul; of well-shaped hands and soulful 
eyes belonging to the artist; of knitting eye- 
brows, lips pressed tightly together in deter- 
mination, and the somber looks of a man with 
a selfish will. And our heroine, whose soul as 
a rule is spotless, is pictured as the visible mani- 
festation of beauty itself. 

It is, indeed, a peculiar law that gives par- 



74 CHALLENGING A GOD 

ticular features to a particular being. I never 
saw a noble brow that did not hide a noble 
soul; nor clearly cut, prominent features that 
did not reveal strong qualities of the individual ; 
nor thick lips, little mouse-ears, and half-closed, 
restless eyes that did not speak of selfishness 
and cunning. And even a man's way of eating, 
sleeping, walking, dressing — nay, a man's way 
of doing anything — betrays the nature and 
the quality of his real being. Man's physical 
appearance is an open book; rather deceptive, 
often, to a beginner, but nevertheless a faithful 
positive copy of an inner negative. A crowded 
restaurant to me is a big human library. The 
contents of the various volumes are hidden, but 
the quality of the covers is in perfect harmony 
with the quality of the texts. The greedy, self- 
ish man cannot eat without annoying his neigh- 
bor with his slobbish mouth-music. The vain 
woman (a faithful expression of selfishness and, 
in last analysis, intense self-consciousness) em- 
ploys the most dignified grimaces and move- 
ments of her arms and hands to finish her meal. 
The dreamer throws salt into his coffee, and 
is totally oblivious to his surroundings. The 
travelling salesman in particular and the little 
idealistic person in general, make themselves 
heard all over the place. Full of interest is 
this world! It never threatens me with the 
dread of society — ennui. 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 75 

So innumerable are the visible expressions of 
invisible being that a good-sized volume might 
easily be written on the subject. The point I 
wish to emphasize, however, is that man's ap- 
pearance is the exact expression of his being. I 
am tempted to make a more daring statement, 
and say that the personality, in some incom- 
prehensible manner, has shaped a body for itself, 
the quality of which is in harmony with its own ; 
that the me of man, moreover, absolutely con- 
trols its own appearance, whether man is con- 
scious of this fact or not. I am inclined to be- 
lieve this, because I have noticed that highly sen- 
sitive people reflect their soul-disturbance in 
their bodily appearance. They are generally 
sick. Doctors prescribe diets, pills, and poison, 
without being able to cure them. The trouble, 
however, is not rooted in the physical organs or 
the body. The latter are misbehaving because 
headquarters refuse to behave. A soul-tonic in 
such cases is needed, not a pill or a dose of 
poison. 

And where, may I ask, is that impression, 
sorrow, rooted? In man's being, no doubt. 
And see how faithfully this impression of sor- 
row is expressed by the physical appearance! 
The body stoops ; the face is marked with lines ; 
bodily health, as a rule, declines. Happiness 
likewise expresses itself in the most visible man- 
ner in the body of man. The best tonic for 



76 CHALLENGING A GOD 

a sick person is contentment or, perhaps, a 
hearty laugh. 

I have known a remarkable case of an indi- 
vidual who in a short time entirely changed 
his personality. He suddenly woke from an in- 
different attitude towards existence to a vivid 
interest in its laws. Within a year he devel- 
oped great gifts and noble qualities. The 
change in his physical appearance, as a result 
of the change in his personality, was astonish- 
ing. He had grown several inches; his walk 
had become more erect; his features had grown 
more prominent. 

I stated that man's personality, be it con- 
sciously or unconsciously, controls the body. 
This means infinitely more than we may think 
at first consideration. We must remember that 
the body is made up of innumerable molecules 
and atoms ; that each particle is life, or, I should 
say, is controlled by an individual me. We 
have seen that everything in universe is in re- 
ality nothing but a degree of self-conscious- 
ness; that an intense degree of self-conscious- 
ness expresses intense limitation, and is over- 
ruled by a less degree. The animal, for in- 
stance, is master over the plant ; the human be- 
ing rules over animal and plant both ; the highly 
developed man over his less developed brother. 
And it would appear that man's being in the 
course of evolution attracts beings of lower 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 77 

development, shapes them into the visible ex- 
pression of his self, and absolutely controls them 
as their lord arfd master. 

Everything, no matter how low in develop- 
ment, fits in an incomprehensible manner into 
the existence of higher developed beings. 
Gases, minerals, animals, and plants are neces- 
sary to man's life. Gases, minerals, and plants 
are the necessary slaves of the animal. Gases 
and minerals are the necessary victims of the 
plant. This universe is a huge slave-market, 
where greater development controls and utilizes 
a lesser development. The king of slavehold- 
ers in man, who, being the least self-conscious 
of all beings, is master over them all. I am 
not ashamed to admit that I lack the power of 
expression needed to picture the immensity and 
intricacy of life's machinery. 

Man's physical appearance is not the only 
expression of what he is. His ideals, customs, 
religions, ambitions, laws, products of art and 
inventions, all hint at his real being. The re- 
ligion of the Jews, as expressed in the Old Tes- 
tament, clearly shows what undeveloped beings 
those inhabitants of the " Holy Land " must 
have been. Their religion was but an expres- 
sion of their soul-development. It strongly 
savors of greed, selfishness, and barbarism. 
Their god existed within the limits of their 
comprehension, their sense of generosity, beauty, 



78 CHALLENGING A GOD 

and justice. This omnipotent being was sus- 
ceptible to flattery, easily bribed, and preju- 
diced beyond comprehension. He was the 
feared but intimate friend of the Jews, and the 
destructive foe of their enemies. He assisted 
them in the most barbaric manner in destroy- 
ing the foe of Israel. Woman nor babe was 
spared by him. Murder, adultery, and deceit- 
ful tricks were employed by this all-powerful 
being to revenge himself upon the enemy of his 
" chosen people." Of course, I do not believe 
a word of all the terrible things the " inspired " 
barbarians wrote about this god. I am hap- 
pily confident in my opinion that he never ex- 
isted. This, however, is the interesing fact I 
learn from the Old Testament's accounts, that 
the god-idea is the exact expression of the in- 
dividual's development. As I am, thus is my 
god. A savage has a cruder conception of the 
power or powers that rule universe than a civ- 
ilized man has. The individual who is little ac- 
quainted with the laws governing existence, gen- 
erally knows of two gods, — the god of good- 
ness, which he names God, and the god of wick- 
edness, which he names the Devil. And the 
more developed the individual is, the more truth- 
ful is his conception of the ruling power of im- 
mensity. 

Needless to say that art and literature are 
the expressions of man's real being. A painter 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 79 

visibly expresses his ideal on canvas. In his 
painting you jpehold him to the utmost limits 
of his soul-quality. A close observer may dis- 
cover from that orderly arranged heap of shade 
and color the good and bad qualities, the ideas 
and ideals, of its creator. Also from Chopin's 
beautifully sad waltzes, nocturnes and ballads 
may we learn a great deal about the composer's 
nature. 

Is there, indeed, anything touching our or- 
dinary daily lives that does not reveal some- 
thing of the nature of man? I may mention 
clothes, for example. The gaudiness, the neat- 
ness, the refined and subtle arrangement of 
clothes, speak volumes indeed. Vivid colors, — 
as red, for instance, — are generally worn by 
the individual whose chief ambition is the satis- 
fying of self. I do not mean to imply that a 
person necessarily has such a nature when he 
wears red. But when his being is little devel- 
oped, he expresses this fact in one way by dis- 
playing a liking for vivid colors. I am re- 
minded of the interesting fact that nature 
adorns itself in bright colors. When I say " na- 
ture," I refer to those beings that are less de- 
veloped and more intensely in the grip of self- 
consciousness than man is. Red is one of the 
predominant colors in nature. Buds and twigs 
are generally red first, then change their hue 
into brown and green. Many birds attract 



80 CHALLENGING A GOD 

members of the opposite sex with their gaudy 
plumage. A specie of monkeys have a bright 
red spot on a certain part of their body, and 
turn this vividly hued spot towards the female 
in order to attract her. Other animals, again, 
attract the opposite sex by emitting a natural 
odor, which method is faithfully copied by 
woman in an artificial manner. The very sen- 
sual woman generally carries with her the over- 
whelming odor of an abundance of manufac- 
tured perfume. Everything, I say, even unto 
the most trivial action and fact, is an expres- 
sion of man's inner being, and indicative of his 
soul-development. 

Here in America, where a new and more ad- 
vanced race is being born, we notice expressions 
of man's being which are totally unknown in 
other countries. Our attention is first of all 
drawn to the physical appearance of the Ameri- 
can man. From the melting-pot of different 
nationalities and their various types of physi- 
cal expression is emerging an altogether new 
physical man. His like is not to be found 
across the Atlantic. I am of opinion that this 
new man is good to behold. Rather tall in 
stature, with frank, penetrating eyes, strong 
features — well-developed jawbones, chin, and 
Roman nose, — he suggests to me the qualities 
of strength, perseverance, and nobility. His 
features do not suggest brutal, but moral, 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 81 

strength. Such being is able to face the entire 
world and a dainty sweetheart both, in an irre- 
proachable manner. 

There is a great deal of noble sentiment in 
this strong American man, greater, indeed, than 
he is willing to admit. This sentiment is ex- 
pressed in his finely shaped nostrils, in his eyes 
and eyebrows ; also, very truly, in his artistic 
creations — his songs, for example. (I do not 
class ragtime music among " artistic crea- 
tions.") Our brothers across the water gen- 
erally believe that Americans do not have a 
taste for music and beauty. They are gravely 
mistaken. Where classical music, for instance, 
is the property of a few genii and the educated 
classes of Europe, it is public property in Amer- 
ica. It has struck me that patrons of ordi- 
nary, everyday-life cafeterias and twenty-cent- 
shows apparently demand, and certainly re- 
ceive, music which in Europe is enjoyed by so- 
called privileged classes,. In Europe one seeks 
in vain for an ordinary lunch-place where 
meals are served with musical renderings from 
Thais, Schubert, Brahms, Dvorak, — music 
which can only be appreciated by the soul that 
harbors beauty as one of its qualities. 

In a foregoing chapter I remarked that the 
American's ideas and ideals are the expressions 
of his being; that these ideas and ideals are 
the most advanced of the age for the reason 



82 CHALLENGING A GOD 

that they are the expressions of an advanced 
being. In connection with this subject I will 
point to America's skyscrapers. These tower- 
ing giants are steel-and-stone-expressions of 
American mentality and universality. They 
roughly express the greatness of their creator's 
being. They are the American soul solidified, — 
a soul that is to a great extent All-conscious, 
inclined to soar the depths of the heavens in 
search of knowledge regarding the laws of ex- 
istence. An America with two- or three- 
story buildings only is unthinkable. Man's be- 
ing expresses itself visibly in such a manner 
that the expression becomes a manifestation be- 
longing exclusively to its particular degree of 
development. 

But enough about expression of man-being. 
One might devote an entire volume to this par- 
ticular subject. Its existence may be discov- 
ered and studied by the analytical mind. We 
cannot make the same statement about the ex- 
pression of the lower developed beings that 
share our earthly home. In fact, man has ever 
been loath to recognize the principles that gov- 
ern his being in that of the animal or plant. 
He has ever considered himself to be existing in 
absolute separation from the rest of universe. 
Man, universe, and God — such has ever been 
his division of the All. I am inclined to blame 
his intense self-consciousness for his mistake. 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 83 

My knowledge and observation-power would in- 
form me of the fact that there exists one uni- 
verse, in which man figures as its most noble 
and most developed member. All members are 
governed by identical laws, which operate dif- 
ferently, however, and in harmony with the 
degree of development of the being acted upon. 
And even as man's physical appearance is an 
expression of his real being, thus, I am con- 
vinced, are the flower, the animal, nay, even the 
grain of sand, visible expressions of being. 
And the expression corresponds with a certain 
degree of development. 

Nature is a huge stepladder, divided into four 
(or perhaps more) minor ladders joined to- 
gether. The representative of the lowest lad- 
der expresses itself through apparent lifeless- 
ness; of the second, through life confined to 
one spot; of the third, through life expressing 
greater freedom of movement and an absorb- 
ing struggle for existence; of the fourth, 
through a still greater freedom, — a refined, al- 
most artful, struggle for existence, and a dis- 
tinctly smaller degree of self-centeredness. 

Universe, as we see it, is not the real uni- 
verse. It is the reflected expression of an in- 
visible world of various degrees of self-con- 
sciousness. Did you ever drink the beauty of 
a full-blown rose, standing mute and fragrant 
in the cool, silver moonlight? You were con- 



84 CHALLENGING A GOD 

scious of something more than its lovely-shaped 
petals and its soft odor. There was a some- 
thing speaking through and behind that rose- 
form, — something undefinable. . . . This same 
undefinable something is softly penetrating 
through the dim objects of a twilight-scene. 
The tall trees, appearing like giant sentinels 
standing immovable in the glimmer of a dark 
blue-yellow background, are the materialized re- 
flection-dreams of something else. 



The most sublime expression I know is that 
of love between man and woman, — so sublime, 
indeed, that I will endeavour to show that this 
inspiration of all life is something more than 
the vapor of sentimentality and imagination. 

To love is to be the one you love. The 
lover should only then cry out from the depths 
of his heart when he has at least reached 
the degree of soul-beauty of his beloved one. 
Then only does he know her, for her being is 
then contained in his; she is he, and he is she: 
they are one. 

Even as a man must be beauty himself in 
order to be able to perceive and know the in- 
finite beauty of universe — thus must the lover's 
being contain the qualities of his beloved's soul 
so that he may know and be his beloved. And 
when he knows her because he is she, he loves 






EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 85 

her. Such love, which is the ideal love, is as 
rare as the lily in the desert. 

When the beloVed is not near, the lover misses 
her as he would miss his self when lost in an 
empty wilderness. Their souls have mingled; 
they have become one. And as all the universe 
is the visible expression of invisible soul, as 
invisible grief and joy are visibly painted on 
the countenance, thus is the unseen mingling 
of two souls expressed by a kiss, by enfolding 
arms, and by intermingling bodies. Those who 
are one in soul express this unity in every re- 
spect. But those who desire the physical em- 
brace only, sin in the face of almighty truth. 

Loving his beloved, her being is a part of 
that of her lover. Therefore, no wall of dis- 
tant respect and admiration separates him 
from her. He delights in knowing her to be 
his playmate for life. Is he not she? Is not 
the happiness of two lovers caused by a per- 
fect companionship similar to that of two chil- 
dren? Many an unhappily wedded man ex- 
pressed more admiration and respect than love 
for his life-companion, — cool, awe-inspiring re- 
spect and admiration, — because he did not know 
her ; because he was not she, and therefore could 
not love her. 

Love is confident. When a man loves, he 
knows it. Neither fear nor possibilities can 
shake the inward knowledge of his love. To- 



86 CHALLENGING A GOD 

day? He loves her. To-morrow? He will 
love her. When a doubt creeps in his heart, 
suggesting that he may not love her to-morrow, 
he does not really love her to-day. 

The perfect love is highly sensitive. Because 
the lover is his beloved, each feeling of affection 
she withholds from him is a wound in his soul. 
The perfect lover is sad at heart when his be- 
loved bestows her affections upon another man, 
for he loses a part of his own being whenever 
she gives her soul, partly or wholly, to his 
rival. 

Love is also generous and unselfish. What- 
ever the intensity of pain in the wounded soul, 
it can be borne and even cherished by the per- 
fect lover. Real love does not demand, does 
not claim. It gives. And giving, it allows the 
beloved one a boundless freedom in choosing 
her own happiness. Marriage is happiness, 
and blended souls are most content, when the 
lovers are unselfish and give freedom one to the 
other. 

Love is inspiration. The loving soul is be- 
ing endowed with the qualities of beauty, gen- 
erosity, tenderness, and mercy. And as uni- 
verse is ugly when perceived by an ugly soul, 
and beautiful when a beautiful soul is conscious 
of it, thus is all the world a veritable para- 
dise to him who is a true lover. All great, 
creating souls received their inspiration from 



EXPRESSION OF INVISIBLE 87 

the woman they adored, even when an unan- 
swered love stirred the beauteous depths of a 
slumbering bein£. 

The noble, unselfish soul is not defeated by 
an unanswered love. The man does not ask; 
his love merely asks for a soul to worship, even 
as a flower, by its very nature, asks for the 
vitalizing sun-glow. The real lover gives, and 
that which he gives is love. Moreover, he is a 
man, and sufficiently unselfish to be able to 
bear sorrow and disappointment. An unan- 
swered love shall ever be a divine test of a soul's 
unselfishness. 

This, then, is love — the expression of two 
blending souls. 



VIII 
WHAT IS TRUTH? 

It is true that the appletree blossoms in 
Spring. It is true that the average tempera- 
ture of the temperate zones is higher than that 
of the Arctic regions. It is true that two vol- 
umes of hydrogen and one volume of oxygen, 
under certain conditions, form water. How do 
we know these facts to be true? Did we ever 
hear anyone contradict these statements? No 
one ever did. For the truth of these state- 
ments can be verified, directly or indirectly, by 
observation. This truth relates to the physical 
world, the appearance of universe. Our five 
senses are the observing powers that report 
their experiences to their master, the brain, 
which is the seat of man's intellect. 

I will name this truth that can be known, di- 
rectly or indirectly, by observation, physical 
truth. And I will name the amount of physical 
truth known by an individual, his physical or 
intellectual knowledge. 

Each of us has intellectual knowledge. A 
person may use his powers of observation to 
the utmost capacity. His intellectual knowl- 
88 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 89 

edge may be vast. We call him learned, and 
offer him the position of professor at our uni- 
versity. But a *person with a great intellectual 
knowledge does no more than analyze the ap- 
pearance of universe. Even when he knows all 
there is to be known about the physical world, 
he may yet be totally ignorant about the foun- 
dation of the appearance. Existence may yet 
be an absolute mystery to him. 

There exists another truth, dealing not with 
the physical appearance of universe, but with 
universe itself. I often wish that every one 
could agree about this truth. There would 
then be less creeds, dogmas, and philosophies. 
Bitter arguments and creed-hatred would be 
superfluous. Mental tyranny and arrogance 
would find no place in this life. Alas! it is 
impossible that all people agree upon the sub- 
ject, existence in its reality. For where physi- 
cal truth may be tangibly verified to the ex- 
tent of our physical observation-power, the 
truth about the real universe is primarily real- 
ized in our being, our consciousness, our per- 
sonality. And as there exist innumerable de- 
grees of being, there should be found innumera- 
ble degrees of this existence-knowledge. 

To give an instance of the possibility of dis- 
agreement about this truth: How can you 
convince me that you speak the truth when you 
say that I am a perfect image of God? I 



90 CHALLENGING A GOD 

cannot verify your statement by observation. 
I never saw God. I never observed God by 
means of any of my physical senses. I refuse 
to believe, unless my belief takes the form of a 
logical conclusion. The result will be that you 
call me a heretic, an atheist, or a devil, and 
that I accuse you of being illogical and super- 
stitious. 

I will name this truth that deals with exist- 
ence in its reality, spiritual truth. And I 
will name the amount of spiritual truth realized 
by an individual, his soul-knowledge or wis- 
dom. We should, furthermore, when referring 
to intellectual knowledge, speak of know- 
ing; when referring to wisdom, of realizing. 
For one may know something intellectually 
without fully realizing it spiritually. A per- 
son may acquaint me with a spiritual truth 
which appears logical and reasonable to my 
intellect. My failure to apply or live up to 
this truth in my daily life should prove, how- 
ever, that I do not realize this truth. The 
criminal, for example, knows that it is wrong 
to steal, but he does not realize it. 

Man has been too anxious to know his brain 
or his intellect to be the " real thing." The 
intellect is but a servant of man's being or con- 
sciousness. It is, moreover, an acquisition. 
Man-evolution gradually demanded an intellect 
that would assimilate and analyze physical im- 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 91 

pressions. There are, however, numerous im- 
pressions that do not reach the brain through 
the various channels of sense. They reach the 
consciousness directly, without the individual 
being aware of them. Only when these impres- 
sions are transferred to the intellect, and there 
analyzed, do we become aware of having had 
an impression. The little-developed beings of 
universe receive their impressions in the above 
described direct manner. They possess no in- 
tellect to analyze their impressions. They are 
not aware of being conscious. 

That there exists a close relationship and a 
separation both, between intellect and con- 
sciousness is proven by several interesting facts. 
I may, for instance, analyze visible universe in- 
tellectually. Meditating upon its magnitude 
and its complicated life-machinery, I shall grad- 
ually impress my consciousness. My being be- 
comes aglow with the sense of beauty. I feel 
inspired and strong. These same sensations 
may be obtained directly, without an intermedi- 
ate intellectual analysis. I need but look at 
the world, and shall obtain the same results. 
The beauty of a piece of music need not be 
analyzed intellectually; it may be felt. The 
soul-beauty of your beloved one is not al- 
ways analyzed intellectually ; as a rule it is 
felt. And the impression universe leaves upon 
your being need not be caused by intellectual 



92 CHALLENGING A GOD 

analysis; it can be felt directly, even when our 
intellect is totally inactive. 

We may, on the other hand, analyze these 
direct impressions intellectually. This is, very 
often, a hopeless task. Our intellect is but a 
coarse reproduction of our consciousness. It 
is unable to register in thought and idea the 
subtler impressions of our being. 

Impression, then, may have travelled along 
two different roads: Objects, senses, intellect, 
and consciousness; or object, consciousness, in- 
tellect. 

I never saw a man whose being was highly 
developed who did not also have a highly de- 
veloped intellect. The highly developed man is 
comparatively little self-conscious, and ex- 
presses his being through generosity, broad- 
mindedness, high morals and principles. You 
shall invariably find such a man to be the owner 
of an uncommon intellect. Neither did I ever 
meet a little developed being with a great in- 
tellect. There exists a relationship between in- 
tellect and consciousness, although they func- 
tion differently. Intellect corresponds chiefly 
with the visible appearance of universe, con- 
sciousness with the invisible, real universe. 
There does not, however, exist a distinct sep- 
aration between the two. The one gradually 
flows into the other. 

I shall now proceed to discuss spiritual 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 93 

truth, for the reason that it is the cause of 
much bitterneis, arguing and hatred. It is, 
moreover, the fundamental truth of universe. 
Physical truth is but a coarse expression of 
spiritual truth, to which I shall from now on 
simply refer as " truth." 

Truth is but partly known to man. If he 
knew it in its entirety, he would know absolute 
truth, which is the only truth that permeates 
universe from world-center to world-center. 
Man knows but a part of the absolute truth. 
The truth he knows and utters is relative truth. 
Absolute truth is universe itself. It is exist- 
ence in the absolute sense. It is to be in the 
absolute sense. Absolute truth is perfection, 
which cannot be questioned. If man knew the 
absolute truth, he would not be tempted to ask 
questions. All there is to be known would be 
known by him. Nothing would puzzle him. 

Viewed from a relative standpoint, absolute 
truth is no truth, for the reason that it is in- 
finite. If man ever masters absolute truth, he 
shall never know about it. To know is to be 
partly ignorant about the whole truth. All 
measurable knowledge is proof of ignorance and 
imperfection. If man knew the whole truth, he 
would not be able to say : " So much I know, 
and so much I do not know." To measure his 
knowledge should be an impossibility. There 
would be no ignorance to measure it by. 



94 CHALLENGING A GOD 

It has, perhaps, become clear that we can- 
not, in our present imperfection at least, con- 
ceive of absolute truth and absolute knowing. 
When absolute knowing has become a fact, rela- 
tive knowing ceases. 

Man's knowledge is relative. To know is 
to be. When making this statement, I do not 
refer to intellectual knowledge, which is but an 
outgrowth of spiritual knowledge; I refer to 
that knowledge which amounts to soul-realiza- 
tion. The man who is inwardly convinced that 
he should be generous, broad-minded, and high- 
principled, knows and realizes something be- 
cause he is that something. A degree of exist- 
ence-knowledge is the life-expression of a de- 
gree of being. The most intense self-con- 
sciousness is the opposite pole of to be in the 
absolute sense or absolute All-consciousness. 
There exist billions of intermediate stages be- 
tween these two extremes. If we suppose the 
hypothetical ether to be the most intensely self- 
conscious something in the universe, we know of 
the following higher stages of being: electron, 
atom, plant, animal, man. Each of these be- 
ings is, and the is-ness of each of them is noth- 
ing but a knowing or realization. 

How can I possibly love my neighbor unless 
I realize in my soul that to do so is to be truth 
itself? How can I live the truth unless I am 
that truth? You cannot compel me to love 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 95 

my neighbor. All your sermons are of no 
avail. When, I force myself to live up to your 
moral teachings, I am merely unnatural. Nay, 
I must be truth in order to live it. My being 
must be a certain degree of sublimity ; then only 
do I live and know that degree of sublimity. 

The different degrees of human knowledge 
are explained by the different degrees of self- 
consciousness of the human beings. I do not 
claim to know absolute truth. If I did, I should 
not be here, wondering about existence. But 
I do maintain that self-consciousness, with its 
various degrees,, is the key to the situation of 
changeable universe. There are no words avail- 
able to express this strange something, self- 
consciousness. I can but say that it is self- 
centeredness, an awareness of self, a center of 
relative being in a world of all-being or not- 
relative-being. A self-conscious being is chiefly 
aware of self. Its self is a universe. The 
more intense its awareness of self is, the less 
it can know about the whole universe or the 
whole truth. We shall see, then, that the 
greatly self-centered being is ignorant. The 
life-expressions of the degrees of his develop- 
ment are selfishness and ignorance. This igno- 
rance is both spiritual and intellectual. His 
intellectual ignorance is but a secondary igno- 
rance. The primary ignorance is rooted in his 
being, nay, it is his being. 



96 CHALLENGING A GOD 

We shall see that the least self-centered be- 
ing is the wisest, and, often, the most learned. 
His awareness of self not being so intense, he is 
receptive to impression and knowledge. His 
knowledge is both spiritual and intellectual. 
His intellectual knowledge, again, is but sec- 
ondary. The primary knowledge is rooted in 
his being; it is his being. He is, in being, a 
certain degree of truth. The life-expressions 
of his being are generosity, wisdom, knowledge, 
and high morals and principles. 

Had I but words at my disposal to express 
my meaning! Our only salvation is to know 
the truth by being the truth. To know truth 
is often all we can do. To express our soul- 
knowledge is often an impossibility. 

In connection with the above statements, I 
shall now make a plea for freedom of thought. 
Only ignorance can be the cause of mental 
tyranny. To command a person to believe 
along certain lines is to violate the truth. That 
many men to-day are not sufficiently wise to re- 
alize this is pitiable. 

The degree of self-consciousness of the indi- 
vidual determines his degree of knowledge. 
Each individual's knowledge reaches a certain 
limit. Beyond this limit he cannot know. As 
his intellect, furthermore, corresponds with his 
being or consciousness, it is limited to a similar 
degree. It is for this reason that a person's 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 97 

knowledge is knowledge existing to himself only. 
Supposing his being and his intellect to be ex- 
tremely limited, one cannot possibly explain 
facts to him that lie beyond the limit of his 
knowing-power. If he has great faith in his 
teacher, he may believe him. He cannot know 
and realize the uttered truths. When he clings 
to his individual knowledge and refuses to ac- 
cept anything he does not know, we call him 
a skeptic. When he readily digests the theories 
and dogmas of others without knowing them to 
be true, we say that he is a believer. 

Each individual is truth himself. Each in- 
dividual may say : " I am the truth." There 
exists for him no other truth than his own. 
What should he do with truth that cannot be 
known and realized by him? It is foreign to 
him. He claims that it is not truth. He 
laughs at you, and wonders whether you are 
insane or not. 

To teach truth is, strictly speaking, impossi- 
ble. Even if my reader should agree with 
everything I have written in this book, I shall 
have taught him nothing. I shall have clothed 
his own soul-knowledge in a garb of words and 
symbols. I shall have given expression to that 
which he knew already. We often notice peo- 
ple who are guided by lofty ideals and noble 
principles, and who are unable to explain their 
view-point of life intellectually. Their knowl- 



98 CHALLENGING A GOD 

edge is primarily rooted in their being, and is 
but partly transferred to their intellect. Such 
people merely know that they should live their 
noble lives. They cannot discover a " why " 
for their noble actions and viewpoints. They 
may read a book that will appeal to them. It 
teaches them a great deal, apparently. In re- 
ality it is but expressing their own knowledge 
of which they were not aware. 

To my reader, then, I say: Take not my 
word for granted. If my thoughts appeal to 
you, I shall know that they express your own 
knowledge. I do not proclaim their truth to 
the world. They are true to me. You may 
condemn my thoughts if you wish, but you 
should not condemn me; for my thoughts are 
the expression of my being, of the amount of 
truth I represent. Even if this amount of 
truth be little, your wisdom shall forbid you to 
condemn me, the individual. I am not know- 
ingly responsible for the degree of my soul-de- 
velopment. 

No individual should be condemned for his 
thoughts and ideas. The latter are the faith- 
ful expressions of the quality of his being. 
From them one may discover the amount of 
truth that the individual represents. We may 
condemn his thoughts for not being in harmony 
with the quality of our own being. We may 
endeavor to convince others that his viewpoints 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 99 

are false. But we must refrain from hating 
the thinker of ^uch thoughts. Such attitude is 
unwise, and a slap in the face of almighty truth. 

Authority in connection with the truth of ex- 
istence does not exist unless the. individual will- 
ingly accepts it. Even Christ was no author- 
ity. Each individual is his own authority. 
Jesus of Nazareth fully realized this fact. He 
understood that his knowledge reached far be- 
yond the knowing-limits of his audience. To 
the people " he spoke in parables, for they did 
not understand." It would appear, however, 
that he met a few more developed beings " to 
whom he revealed all things." These few men, 
the apostles, continued to teach Christ's phi- 
losophy of existence. That the human soul was 
and is not ripe for this philosophy has been 
clearly proven by more than one miserable fact. 
Not being able to grasp the essence of Christ's 
teachings, his followers very soon turned them 
into a sorrowful mess of fanaticism, childish 
worship and church-tyranny. 

I do not know whether Jesus actually ex- 
isted. I have my doubts about the matter. 
This much is certain, that a great man with a 
great knowledge did exist. If this man was not 
Jesus, he must necessarily have been the author 
of the New Testament or the teacher of the au- 
thors. 

The man Jesus, as pictured in the four Gos- 



100 CHALLENGING A GOD 

pels, represented an as yet unknown degree of 
truth. His knowledge of existence is, to me, 
more than surprising. His very life is one of 
the hints needed to solve the great problem of 
universe. His self-consciousness was the least 
intense of which I ever knew, heard, or read. 
Thought of self was practically unknown to 
him. Only once or twice in his entire life do 
we notice an awareness of self. In the Garden 
of Gethsemane he asked three of his disciples to 
watch with him, as " his soul was exceeding sor- 
rowful." The disciples fell asleep, and Christ 
reproached them as follows : " What, could ye 
not watch with me for one hour? " His pitiful 
utterance on the cross : " Lord, my Lord, why 
hast Thou forsaken me ? " is another rare in- 
stance of his awareness of self. But his deeds 
and actions prove that he was practically All- 
conscious instead of self-conscious. Yes, he was 
the truth, more so than any other individual 
known to humanity. To love your neighbor, 
to do good unto others, to help your helpless 
fellow-man, this was the essence of his philoso- 
phy. His philosophy was the necessary expres- 
sion of his being, which had reached an un- 
heard-of degree of development. It was not a 
manufactured heap of morals and pious utter- 
ings. Nay, to Jesus it was a necessity to do 
good and to love his neighbor. 

Behind his philosophy stands a formidable 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 101 

answer to that impertinent little question: 
" Why ? " To love your neighbor is not an act 
of sentimentality, piety, or fear of a frowning 
ruler. To love your neighbor is to be highly 
philosophical, to be true to a sublime degree. 
You cannot help being this ; you simply express 
what you are. Many people attach to " love " 
a sugar-sweet, piety-enveloped meaning. They 
are mistaken. Universal love dwells in the soul 
of him who knows. When you realize the 
equality of soul, you love your neighbor. When 
you realize that man is not knowingly respon- 
sible for his low or high soul-development, you 
condemn his actions, but forgive him, the indi- 
vidual. You love him. And your love is noth- 
ing but understanding, knowledge, truth! 

When you are not wrapped up in your self, 
you are absorbed in the All. Your interest is 
centered in humanity, in the flowers, in the 
stars, in anything but your self. You are re- 
ceptive to impression and knowledge. You are 
broad-minded and generous, forgiving and mer- 
ciful. You not only love your fellow-man, you 
also love universe in its entirety. You are a 
universal soul. You are preparing yourself to 
become a god. 

I repeat that Christ's teachings are embodied 
in a philosophy of the highest order. If you 
wish to call them religion, I shall claim that 
there is no higher religion than true philoso- 



102 CHALLENGING A GOD 

phy. Science is the conqueror of truth. Phi- 
losophy is the conqueror of truth. The truth 
of existence can only be expressed by science 
and philosophy. God himself is plain, simple 
truth. 

To the degree the individual is truth, to such 
degree is he God. How shall I ever know God 
unless I be God myself? How can I know 
beauty unless I be beauty myself? How can 
I know truth if I am not truth myself? " I 
and the Father are one," said Christ. 

Look around in this life of ours ! " Christ " 
and " love " are words uttered in thousands of 
pulpits. Bibles are sold by the millions. What 
good have the pulpits and the Bibles wrought? 
What is the reason that millions of hard work- 
ers unite to oppose their brother-oppressors? 
Why should graft, greed, and injustice exist? 
What is the cause of the great European ca- 
lamity? Whence party-hatred and creed-ha- 
tred? What have you accomplished during the 
last twenty centuries, Christian Church? 

There is but one answer to the above ques- 
tions; one answer, only. I wish to print it in 
big, black letters. If I could print a devil be- 
hind each character, I would do so. This is 
the answer: Ignorance. The church should 
teach truth, not vagaries and superstition. 
Preachers should become broad-minded. The 
limiting qualities of creed and dogma prevent 



WHAT IS TRUTH? 103 

them from ever knowing anything. I belong to 
no philosophical society. I belong to no 
church. • You cannot possibly class me among 
schools of philosophy. My desire to know the 
truth is unlimited. I will listen patiently to 
any religion or philosophy. I refuse to be lim- 
ited by " fundamental principles " and " doc- 
trines." I refuse to be a liar. Let me know 
the truth as I know it. Allow me to penetrate 
beyond man-made boundaries. To the truth of 
existence I am wedded, not to religions and phi- 
losophies! I am my own authority, my own 
critic, my own creed, my own truth ! So is 
everyone. 

Man's being has developed during the last 
twenty centuries. The church has not, or per- 
haps very little. The consequence is that the 
church is compelled to attract people by giving 
musical programs, by advertising on billboards, 
by proclaiming " go-to-church " days. Let the 
church be courageous and honest! Let the 
church change its policy ! Let the church raise 
the level of its teachings to that of the average 
soul-development of humanity ! Their buildings 
would be crowded. There are thousands of peo- 
ple hungry for knowledge and truth. Let there 
be one church wherein the truth of existence is 
taught ! 

To him who teaches principles, dogmas, and 
religion in general against his better under- 



104 CHALLENGING A GOD 

standing, I utter a friendly but solemn warn- 
ing. The only black sin, the only hideous 
crime, in this existence is to belie that which 
you know. A man who does not live up to the 
limit of his knowledge by wilfully acting against 
his better understanding, contracts an enormous 
debt. Teach the greatest nonsense you wish, 
but be sincere about it ! Express that which you 
are in a natural, truthful manner. If our nat- 
ural sinning demands a penalty, what about the 
man who sins against his better understanding? 



IX 
DEFENDING THE DEVIL 

From the foregoing, my readers may con- 
clude that in my opinion neither good nor bad 
exists. We should either call everything good, 
or we should call everything bad. Bad and 
good are but relative qualities. These quali- 
ties do not really permeate universe ; they are 
the creations of man. The degree of badness 
or goodness of something is determined by the 
individual's opinion. Many conditions do not 
harmonize with the quality of my being ; I shall 
call them bad. But these very same conditions 
may be good for another man. 

Badness and goodness, then, exist to the in- 
dividual. He is the sole judge of the degree 
of badness or goodness of a thing. His opin- 
ion, however, is one of the many expressions of 
his soul-quality. There are innumerable de- 
grees of being, and consequently a great num- 
ber of different opinions. One person may call 
a thing bad; another may be able to discover a 
few good qualities that belong to it. Which 

of the two judges is right? They are both 
105 



106 CHALLENGING A GOD 

right. Each of them is right when he judges 
from his own basis of personality. His opin- 
ion has a foundation — which is his being. 

Nobody has the right and the power to pre- 
vent a person from condemning anything he 
wishes to condemn. Interference is positively 
useless. One sees the world through the colored 
glasses of the personality. To change this 
color immediately is practically impossible. 
This change should be effected through indi- 
vidual experience, and the patience and the per- 
severance of outsiders. Violence, bitterness, 
and hatred are ineffective, and merely prove the 
ignorance of man. To condemn the individual 
is, as I have pointed out elsewhere, a violation 
of the truth of existence. 

The differences in degree of soul-development 
are not so wide but that thousands of men can 
agree upon the goodness or the badness of a 
thing. We shall find groups, nay masses, of 
men holding the same opinions. These opinions 
are the expressions of the average soul-develop- 
ment of humanity. The highest developed be- 
ings are the pioneers of unborn generations. 
Their opinions seem incomprehensible, and are 
sometimes condemned. A century often elapses 
before the average being agrees with their ut- 
tered thoughts. 

Seen from an impersonal viewpoint, there ex- 
ists neither good nor bad. We may call every- 



DEFENDING THE DEVIL 107 

thing good, we may call everything bad. We 
cannot, however, call this universe good and bad 
both. Less bad is more good ; less good is more 
bad. One cannot draw a line of distinction be- 
tween good and bad. They are mere qualities 
given by the individual to existing things. 

The truth is that nothing is — except exist- 
ence. There is no reason why we should call ex- 
istence either good or bad. It is : this is all we 
can say about it. When we realize that every 
thing and every happening is a necessary, indis- 
pensable part of existence, we cannot be tempted 
to call anything either good or bad. But when 
we consider the usefulness, the purpose, and the 
aim of existing things and happenings in rela- 
tion to ultimate existence, we can but speak of 
one thing : goodness. 

It is rather difficult to realize the goodness in 
everything that is. Our judgment is primarily 
based on self-interest. We generally decide 
that a thing is good or bad for us. Our self- 
interest makes us narrowminded. We are un- 
able to understand that something may seem bad 
and useless to thousands of people, while it yet 
has a good purpose in the great scheme of ex- 
istence. If we could view the world from an ab- 
solutely impersonal standpoint, we should dis- 
cover that everything is good. 

There is a good in everything that we name 
bad. There is a good in anything that is. 



108 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Nothing is wasted, nothing is useless. If some- 
thing has no aim and no purpose, it should not 
exist. The dirt in the street and the star in 
the sky, the grief in your heart and the smile on 
your lips, the errors and the good deeds of 
man — each of these things is needed ; each of 
these things has been given a task to accomplish. 
Without one of these things, universe would 
crumble to fragments, for together they make 
existence. 

Contrast is powerful and universal. It is a 
mighty weapon of expression. It is invariably 
found in existing things. The contrast between 
light and dark in a painting makes it impres- 
sive. A piece of music that introduces a soft, 
tender strain in the beginning and bursts out in 
mighty chords in the middle, to resume its ten- 
derness in the end, fills the soul with inspiration. 
Give me the night and the day, that I may ap- 
preciate both! Let me know the tear, that I 
may enjoy my happiness! Woman, give me 
your wildest emotion and your calmest love, 
that I may adore you ! 

Who ever knew of a mountain without a val- 
ley nestling at its foot? Could the snow-bril- 
liant light of the summit exist without the dark- 
ness of the canyon? Could man exist without 
woman, or woman without man? Light and 
dark are but shades of one existence. Good and 
bad are but degrees of one good. Man and 



DEFENDING THE DEVIL 109 

woman are but expression of one sublimity. 
Two is an unknown number in universe. The 
arithmetic of existence is : one and one make one. 

And I claim that God and the Devil are one. 
That which we name " of the devil " is as good 
as God is. Our ignorance forbids us to see. 
Our self-interest has blindfolded us. Together 
they make the incomprehensible Infinite. 

I claim that man and woman together make 
one. The man is no more than the woman, the 
woman no more than the man. The one gives 
and receives, the other receives and gives. To- 
gether they make the incomprehensible Infinite. 

I claim that darkness and light are one. The 
darkness makes light, and light makes the dark- 
ness. Together they make the incomprehensible 
Infinite. 

And sadness and joy are in reality one. 
When the tear is unknown, the smile is but 
fiction. The one does not exist without the 
other. Together they make the incomprehen- 
sible Infinite. 

The God of good and the Devil of wickedness 
work in perfect harmony. The rise of nations 
and the fall of empires, the destruction and 
birth of sun-worlds, the devastating floods and 
the periods of peace, are the works of God and 
the Devil, who in reality are one. The Devil 
destroys the old and the retarded, and God 
builds the new and the better. God and the 



110 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Devil are one, the truth of everlasting existence. 

Bad is but a hidden good. Loss is but an un- 
known gain. Destruction is an unseen birth. 
Universe in its reality is neither good nor bad. 
It is; it just is— to-day, to-morrow, forever. 
It was yesterday, and ever before yesterday. 
Its robe is changeable. Its robe is good and 
bad in the opinion of man. When a tip of its 
garment is worn out, calamity destroys it. But 
a new and better patch is stitched on by prog- 
ress ; perhaps not here, but in an undreamed- 
of corner of universe. Universe is balanced. 
There is no loss; there is no gain. All loss is 
gain, all gain is loss. Existence is forever one, 
never more, never less. 

I call a deed good when the quality of my be- 
ing is in harmony with the quality of the deed. 
I call a thing bad when its quality does not har- 
monize with the quality of my being. I con- 
demn certain deeds and thoughts and ideas with 
all the power of my soul. I condemn them for 
being unfit for my being. They may be neces- 
sary to my brother, and therefore good for 
him. I do not condemn him for thinking his 
thoughts and committing his deeds. Each 
thought has its purpose in the scheme of life. 
Each action has its function in the scheme of 
existence. 

That which we name " of the Devil " is the 
only power that moves progress. Thank God ! 



DEFENDING THE DEVIL 111 

I am a sinner. My sins and my imperfect 
qualities guarantee me progress of soul. The 
biggest mistake of my life is the most powerful 
hint at improvement. 

My sins and mistakes are numbered. They 
lie within the realm of my being. Beyond my 
degree of development and knowing I cannot sin. 
A bad deed committed in ignorance is not sin- 
ful. The man who knows little, whose being is 
in infancy, he may do things without sinning, 
while I would sin in doing these things. The 
humble and poor live in dwellings that are dusty 
and dirty. They live, and they are healthy. 
If I should live in such dwellings, I would sin 
and suffer. If I am not clean, I shall sin and 
suffer. For my actions and my conditions of 
life should be in harmony with the littleness or 
the greatness of my being. 

Condemn not the ignorant and the children 
of the Devil. Nurse them and feed them and 
teach them. They need your soul and your 
mind and your love more than the good and the 
saintly and the wealthy. They grope in the 
darkness, and they even know not that they 
grope. An eternity stretches before them. 
A better, a greater, are theirs. Condemn their 
imperfect ways if you wish, but be kind to their 
souls. You have an advantage over them — 
you who are wiser, bigger, and stronger. Crush 
not the spark of life that is humble. Despise 



112 CHALLENGING A GOD 

not the poor and the wicked. You shall whip 
the truth of existence. You shall trample on 
the man who is a sinner — even as you and I. 

I sin because I am not greater than I am. I 
sin that I may become greater than I am. I 
sin that I may suffer and learn and know. The 
Devil is the only teacher of man. Your ser- 
mons and teachings may do me no good. They 
are aggregations of sound, sometimes monoto- 
nous, and sometimes musical. The Devil can 
teach me in a day what your sermons cannot 
teach in a lifetime. He charges heavily indeed 
for his lessons. I must pay with my heart and 
my soul and my blood. I shall refuse to buy 
such lessons again. I shall know the truth. I 
and humanity and universe shall have pro- 
gressed. 

Would you call my body, my sins, and the 
things you do not approve of, error? Did you 
ever know existence to err? Come! be less 
selfish. Do not call things the products of 
error because you do not care for them. They 
are useless error to you, maybe, but they are in- 
dispensable error to the scheme of existence. 

My body is as great as my soul is. My 
sweetheart's eyes and lips and hair and body 
are not less beautiful than her soul. Soul and 
body are one. The soul is invisible, the body is 
the visible expression of the soul. The caressing 
of lips and the mingling of bodies are, or should 



DEFENDING THE DEVIL 113 

be, the expressions of two souls that blend into 
one. 

Were it not for body and matter, we could 
not know and learn. These things are the in- 
struments needed for the soul to progress. If 
your only concern is your body, you are in 
error. If your only concern is your soul, you 
are likewise in error. Body and soul are one. 
Without the body, the soul is asleep and in dark- 
ness. 

Waste not your life in solitude or within the 
walls of a convent. You shall be unnatural. 
Nor fear that the world might stain your white- 
ness of soul. If your soul is pure and noble, 
nothing can affect its purity and nobility. Run 
not away from the temptations and pitfalls of 
life. Have the courage to test the quality of 
your self. Many a man who had claimed to be 
something else than man, who had lived secluded 
from life, in one horrible crime atoned for the 
many little sins he had refused to commit. 

I say to my reader: be natural! Be not 
ashamed to admit to the world what you are. 
Be dissatisfied with your self, and strive for 
greater perfection. But ever be natural, that 
you may live up to the truth of your being. An 
honest devil is greater than a dishonest god. A 
glittering imitation is less valuable than a rough 
original. Why should you pretend, and be 
something which you are not? If you pretend 



114 CHALLENGING A GOD 

to be a saint, the world expects you to act like 
a saint. One slip of your stumbling feet — 
and man has condemned you a hundred times 
more than he does the criminal who is honest 
about his crime! 

This life is my schoolhouse. My sin, the ex- 
pression of imperfection, is my teacher. The 
lessons known to my soul do not tempt me. I 
discard them as bad and imperfect. The others 
I read and devour. I drink deep from the well 
of experience. I pay the price with my heart. 
If sin I must, I shall sin ! And willing I am to 
pay the price. But to sin against my better 
understanding — that you can never compel me 
to do ! For if I cannot be more than I am, I 
neither can be less. And my actions and my 
thoughts are the expressions of a degree of be- 
ing-sublimity. Woe to the man whose life 
is a lie! Woe to the man who teaches that 
which he knows to be untrue ! 

Behold my glorious universe ! Each happen- 
ing is useful. Each thing is needed. Nothing 
is wasted. Nothing is purposeless. I plunge 
deep into the ocean of life. I drink from the 
well of tears as well as from the rippling brook 
of happiness. I deserve both, I demand both, 
for the reason that I am what I am. My im- 
perfection demands the tears, that I may become 
more perfect. My work and my sacrifice de- 



DEFENDING THE DEVIL 115 

mand happiness. I shall receive not a penny 
more or less than my soul-value deserves. 

Show me the* man who has sinned and suf- 
fered; whose tears were the price of wisdom; 
who rose from darkness into light ; whose ex- 
perience softens his heart to his brother; who 
knows and can grasp the ways of the world! 
He, indeed, can speak about the truth of life ! 

And those who are saintly and perfect ; whose 
morals are printed in books instead of their 
souls ; who preach with a hell against the ways 
of their god — these people, I say, the devil re- 
fuses to visit and teach. They are not good, 
and they are not bad. They are not alive, and 
they are not dead. Their souls are the stag- 
nant waters of life. They stand still in a whirl- 
ing universe of progress. 

The world is good and grand and glorious. 
Everything moves and schemes and is of use. 
The ugliest thing has a purpose divine. 



THE UNKNOWABLE 

Absolute perfection is unknowable and incon- 
ceivable. Relative perfection is known to the 
human mind. Something may be perfect in its 
imperfection. A man, as a man, may be per- 
fect; but in the absolute sense he is not. If we 
could possibly conceive of something perfect, 
we should know it to be unchangeable. If it 
were subject to a change that implied improve- 
ment, it should have lacked this improvement in 
the first place, and it should not have been 
named perfect. Perfection now was perfection 
yesterday, and will be perfection to-morrow. 
In other words, perfection is eternal in its ex- 
istence. 

Something perfect cannot have any qualities 
or attributes. To give an illustration: sup- 
pose one of its qualities to be height. The very 
word height is synonymous with imperfection. 
Height is never so high that it cannot change 
into a higher height. Height will reach its per- 
fection when it is height no more; when it is im- 
measurable ; when it cannot become higher ; when 
116 



THE UNKNOWABLE 117 

it is infinite. Man cannot conceive of infinite 
height. If he could, infinite height would be 
limited, and a * greater height would be im- 
aginable. The perfection of height, then, is in- 
finite height — which is no height to quality- 
conceiving man. Suppose that magic placed in- 
finite height before you; you would see, and 
know of, absolutely nothing. You would see 
that which man names nothingness or empti- 
ness or space. The same may be argued about 
all measures : length, breadth, depth : and all 
qualities as wisdom, power, love, beauty, etc. 
Any conceivable quality is, for the very reason 
that it is conceivable, limited and imperfect. 
Perfection, holding in itself all qualities to an 
infinite degree, is inconceivable. When some- 
thing is inconceivable, not sensible, it appears as 
nothing or emptiness to the human observer. 
That limitless depth surrounding our planet is 
the expression of perfection. That immeasurable 
emptiness is the one unchangeable something in 
fathomless universe. It is eternal in its exist- 
ence. We can safely state that its existence is 
self-evident. We may be able to think away a 
flower, a man, a planet, a sun — anything 
visible and imperfect; but even when all that is 
is thought away, there remains forever and anon 
that fathomless emptiness. If there exists a 
perfect God, I am not surprised to read that " no 
man has seen God at any time," and that one 



118 CHALLENGING A GOD 

can only " testify " and " bear witness of him," 
and " declare Him." A perfect God is abso- 
lutely incomprehensible, inconceivable, invisible. 
His presence is revealed to humanity by an ever- 
lasting emptiness and an eternal silence. 

Perfection, moreover, cannot have any human 
attributes. A perfect something cannot know 
anything. Even if it knew all there is to know, 
its knowing-power would be limited. Also to 
know itself would imply limitation or imperfec- 
tion. The power to know, then, of a perfect 
something is inconceivable; in fact, it is infinite, 
or not-knowing in the opinion of imperfect man. 
The knowing of a perfect being is another know- 
ing than ours, to say the least. 

The power, love, goodness, and wisdom of hu- 
man conception and comprehension are not ex- 
pressed by a perfect being. As soon as man is 
able to conceive of its power and love, these 
qualities are limited and not perfect. The 
power, love, goodness, and wisdom of perfection 
are infinite, and reveal themselves to imperfect 
man by their absolute absence. 

Perfection is unchangeable. Any change 
would prove its imperfection. A perfect some- 
thing, therefore, cannot create. Why should 
something that is absolute perfection create im- 
perfect, changeable things? Moreover, there is 
but perfection itself to be used as " material " 
for the creation. If there were any other " ma- 



THE UNKNOWABLE 119 

terial " available, perfection could not be per- 
fect. It would lack that " material." From its 
own self, then,* should perfection create. In 
other words, the perfect would change into the 
created object or thing; which is impossible, as 
perfection is unchangeable. 

I am mighty glad to have come to this conclu- 
sion. If there exists a perfect God, he at least 
did not create me in a mood of ennui. He is not 
playing with me as I would play with the pieces 
on the chessboard. I am not depending upon 
his whims and generous moods. Nay, I may 
quietly study my own being and its startling 
laws. I am master in this world of changeabil- 
ity and imperfection, at least. I am, at least, 
the cause of many a strange happening. I can, 
to a certain degree, consciously shape my own 
future. Unconsciously I shape my entire fu- 
ture, merely by being what I am, merely because 
I exist. The liberty and freedom advocated in 
our life on earth are but the expressions of uni- 
versal liberty and freedom. Think of created 
things knowing such glorious principles, and of 
a perfect God knowing them not ! It would be 
a sorry mess, this glorious universe of ours ! 

There exists no ugliness for me now ! Neither 
do I fear or despair. I need not fear the day 
when sorrow and disaster shall be sent to me by 
my lord and master. I am free, absolutely 
free! My only enemy is myself; my only limi- 



120 CHALLENGING A GOD 

tation is myself ; the only disaster liable to face 
me is the harvest which my own imperfect self 
has sown. There is a universe to be conquered 
by myself. I know little about it now, because 
my self is little. But when I replace my thought 
of self by nobility, generosity, unselfishness; 
when I become more All-conscious than self- 
conscious; then I shall know infinitely more 
about All. 

I do not care to speculate upon perfection. 
It has become clear enough that it is unknow- 
able, inconceivable. I prefer to study and im- 
prove upon the known — my own being, for ex- 
ample. Now and here is the time and the place 
for action, study, and speculation. From 
what I know I can conclude that man is sub- 
ject to growth. He is nearing perfection as 
the years roll by. This growth is the growth 
of All-consciousness, which is expressed by un- 
selfishness. I see the greatest self-consciousness 
and imperfection in the electron (or perhaps in 
that which science names ether). I see self- 
consciousness and imperfection become less and 
less in the atom, the rock, the plant, the ani- 
mal, and man, successively. 

If there is a growth, there must have been a 
beginning, and there should be an end, you shall 
wisely remark, and this universe in time should 
evolve to the point of perfection where matter 
and limitation are not imaginable. But science 



THE UNKNOWABLE 121 

clearly proves that matter and energy are in- 
destructible from which we logically conclude 
that creation is eternal ; that there may be a be- 
ginning and an end to a being's imperfection, 
but not to imperfection or material existence as 
a whole. 

But, again, what do I care for superhuman 
speculations? My being has reached a certain 
degree of development, of All-consciousness. 
My knowing is limited ; beyond that limit I can- 
not know ; I can merely guess or rave. I should 
be satisfied to know that there is progress ahead 
of me and humanity. A greater development 
of man's being shall bring along a greater know- 
ing-power. The secrets of existence, the laws 
of nature, shall be revealed unto man. Nothing 
shall remain hidden. 

The end, you ask? What if a being has be- 
come perfect, and is absolutely All-conscious? 
I suppose the being has then reached the Nir- 
vana of the Hindus, the " Christ-consciousness " 
of the modern religious speculators, the " heaven 
and bliss " of ancient Christianity. Such a be- 
ing has then become All-knowing; in other 
words, it knows nothing. There is nothing to 
know. There is nothing to speculate upon, 
nothing to study, nothing to hope for, nothing 
to become desperate about. There is every- 
thing — which is nothing. There is infinite and 
eternal — which is nothing to imperfect man. 



122 CHALLENGING A GOD 

There is a fathomless apathy — no pain or 
pleasure, no beauty or ugliness, no knowledge 
or ignorance. Yes, there is perfect bliss, which 
consists of no sensation whatever. 

I, personally, do not now particularly crave 
such a condition. I am happy in the knowl- 
edge that I am imperfect and a sinner. I am at 
least my own possibility for improvement and 
growth, which cannot but bring satisfaction. 
And those fanatics who are anxious to leave this 
world of " illusion," " imperfection," " dark- 
ness," or whatever they may name this life, I 
wish to acquaint with an undeniable truth. If 
it were not for the fact that man is imperfect, 
he could not possibly know and strive for perfec- 
tion. If man and everything else were perfect, 
there could be no goal, no strife, and conse- 
quently no action and progress. Material uni- 
verse would not exist at all. It is the very im- 
perfection of man that acquaints him with the 
idea of perfection. This idea, then, is the mov- 
ing inspiration of humanity. To know that 
there is a greater, a better, a more perfect 
ahead, endows us with the power to do, to bear, 
to conquer and to progress. 

Universe to me is a veritable paradise in which 
to move and live; a paradise of many hidden 
secrets, the solution of which has been promised 
me on the ground that I am a man. I, myself, 



THE UNKNOWABLE 123 

am an essential part of this paradise, and un- 
doubtedly the most interesting secret to be 
known. Thrcftigh studying and ennobling my 
self, I may know more and more about the rest 
of universe. Certainly not so bad an occupa- 
tion — that of being man ! A greater, better 
and more powerful self is constantly beckoning 
me. A greater understanding of all that is is 
ever giving me new vigor to proceed. I have no 
time to be bored or crushed or desperate; I am 
too busy living. That immense marvel wherein 
I move, and the possibility of learning more 
about it, thrills my being with the inspiration of 
existence. 

I believe that religion is the greatest enemy of 
science and philosophy — in one word, truth. 
It is founded on blind belief which forever pre- 
vents the individual from being original and 
" finding out things for himself." It makes man 
prejudiced in favor of his belief; it often makes 
him a moral coward. It forbids him to gather 
the pearls of truth that lie scattered everywhere. 

I do not mean to condemn the pious man. If 
his particular being is in need of religion, he 
should have it. But the word religion has a dis- 
agreeable, authoritative sound. And I am of 
opinion that thousands of men partly yield to 
that authority, which is religion's first, last, and 
middle name — thousands of men who are ad- 



124 CHALLENGING A GOD 

vanced enough to discard the swaddling-clothes 
of religious vagaries and superstitions, and ac- 
cept the ermine robe of philosophy and truth. 

But I believe that I am able to understand why 
man is everlastingly absorbed in God — the un- 
knowable and inconceivable ; why he does not in- 
terest himself a little more in the knowable — 
himself, for example. Man's average develop- 
ment in the bygone centuries did not allow him 
to be aware of, and grasp, the laws of his being 
and of nature. It is natural to explain the 
cause of all our life-happenings by means of a 
Supreme Being who rules the fate of man and 
universe. It is natural to seek the guiding 
power, the distributor of grief and happiness, 
the cause of events and happenings, in a being 
or power existing separate from the individual, 
and having nothing in common with him. All 
this is natural — when we do not know the 
truth. But man, especially the more advanced 
American man, is making some remarkable dis- 
coveries about his self — discoveries that are of 
vital interest to successful living, and of incal- 
culable benefit to humanity in general and the 
individual in particular. He is gradually real- 
izing that he, himself, is the cause of certain 
effects, the creator of certain conditions and 
happenings. When he realizes that he himself 
is, consciously or unconsciously, responsible for 
the forthcoming of certain events, he deducts 



THE UNKNOWABLE 125 

that responsibility from the total responsibility 
with which he had charged the Supreme Being. 
He turns to his self, realizing that it has the 
power to act, to a certain degree at least, inde- 
pendently of the sanction of an outside power. 
The man who realizes that through his own 
efforts and perseverance he is able to sell his 
goods, is on the right road. " God helps those 
that help themselves " is a popular saying that 
contains more wisdom than we would imagine. 
A greater soul-development means a deeper 
understanding of the laws of existence; a 
greater understanding brings along a deeper 
realization of the truth: I can do, I can create, 
I can act, I can destroy, — independent of any 
power existing in separation from me, but de- 
pendent upon the quality of my self. Progress- 
ing humanity shall gradually transfer all con- 
centration from a god to their own individu- 
ality. In centuries to come, people shall con- 
ceive of perfection as an unknowable, incompre- 
hensible something that does not interfere with 
the laws inherent in their own being. They 
shall realize that religion, the personal-god-idea, 
the belief in a power existing separate from our 
own being and ruling it, are but facilitating 
bridges, preparatory schools, leading beginners 
toward the sublime truth, that the individual is 
his own responsibility, his own fate — nay, his 
own God! 



126 CHALLENGING A GOD 

If you wish to call such a statement blasphe- 
mous, you are, of course, at liberty to do so. 
Your opinion, however, is based upon blind be- 
lief,. The above utterance is the expression of 
sincere realization — the result of earnest study 
and sought-for experience. I am convinced, 
moreover, that man can then only be filled with 
the thrill of inspiration when he knows that it is 
entirely " up to himself " to create a noble, 
beautiful life. If a supreme being were con- 
sciously ruling him, man might have reason to 
say with Omar Khayyam : 

" Oh, Thon, who Man of baser Earth didst make, 
And ev'n with Paradise devise the snake: 
For all the Sin wherewith the Face of Man 
Is blacken'd — Man's forgiveness give — and 
take!" 

Let perfection (or God, if you wish) have its 
existence in incomprehensibility ! I will go 
through life, drifting on the unshakeable knowl- 
edge that my being is a creative power. De- 
feat? I know it not. It is but a new inspira- 
tion, instructing me how to conquer. Sorrow? 
I can bear it. It purifies my imperfect being, 
and it tests my unselfishness. Trouble and mis- 
fortune? Some qualities of my being are 
markedly imperfect. My trouble is the harvest 
of the seed that I have sown. I will endeavour 



THE UNKNOWABLE 127 

to better and ennoble my self. Yea, in this ma- 
terial world I am at least my own fate, my own 
sorrow, my o#n happiness. " The kingdom of 
heaven is within," and not without, — in the 
fathomless depths of inconceivability, for ex- 
ample. 

Man should awake to the knowledge of what 
he is. He should realize that his being's value is 
that of a creative power. It is not blasphemous 
to know the truth. It is criminal to stubbornly 
refuse to know it. And to know, I say, is to be 
master of existence ! 



XI 

CONJECTURES 

Death is the most puzzling and the most im- 
pressive event in man's existence. Man writes 
his numerous books on the philosophy of life, 
carefully ignoring, however, that problem of all 
problems, death. He appears to be afraid to 
touch the subject at all. He would gladly be 
able to forget that death is a fact. 

The impressions caused by the reality of 
death are not of the most cheerful kind. 
They are generally sad, sometimes horrid. The 
possible existence of a beyond, and thought of 
self, are the principal sources of this horror. 
Loss, in whatever form, then, is man's greatest 
torturer. Death means loss: loss of life and 
sunshine, loss of friends and beloved ones, loss 
of possessions and happiness. There exists no 
torture caused by loss without thought of self. 
The absolutely unselfish man should be able to 
meet death fearlessly. It is rather surprising 
that man bothers himself with no other than his 
own death, He never thinks about the horrible 
unknown when he gathers his flowers, or when he 
128 



CONJECTURES 129 

kills his cows and lambs. Is there no beyond 
for the flower and the animal, I wonder? Is 
the beyond a privileged horror for man only? 
Thought of self, once more, in this instance, 
shapes the ideas and the thoughts of man. 

If you should demand an answer to the ques- 
tions " Whence? " and " Whither? " my honesty 
would compel me to reply : " I do not know." 
I may have formed a theory, I may even have a 
conviction regarding the matter ; but neither the 
theory nor the conviction are directly founded 
on truth, They are based only indirectly on ob- 
servation of known facts. Their immediate 
foundation is conjecture. 

Seen from a viewpoint of personal benefit, I 
care very little about the " whence " and the 
" whither." My only interest in the matter is 
aroused by a desire to know the truth. The all- 
important, all-absorbing fact is: I exist. I 
therefore pay as much attention as possible to 
my existence now and here. I refuse to make 
my known life a hell by creating visions of hor- 
ror belonging to an unknown life. Neither do I 
care to waste an opportunity to make this ex- 
istence a noble heaven by concentrating on bliss 
which may and may not be my share in a 
dreamed-of abode. 

The belief in an existence beyond the realms 
of material life is extremely popular. Hindoos, 
Egyptians, Indians, in fact any race that ever 



130 CHALLENGING A GOD 

nestled on this globe — believed in a hereafter. 
The Christian Church to-day positively asserts 
that heaven is the dwelling-place for departed 
souls. It used to reserve a more disagreeable 
place for sinners and wicked people. But man 
realized, not so long ago, that God could not be 
so infinitely cruel as to eternally damn and tor- 
ture his children whose imperfections were 
caused by his own shaky hand. Man, therefore, 
abolished the hell-concept, which is an expres- 
sion and an indication of bygone ignorance and 
little soul-development. 

The theory of a heaven is based on pure con- 
jecture. It is not even indirectly founded on 
knowledge and observation of known facts. I 
am not surprised, therefore, that it is incon- 
sistent and illogical. 

Eternity with a beginning is inconceivable. 
That which is endless cannot have a beginning. 
If one believes in an everlasting after, one should 
logically accept an everlasting before. Re- 
ligion, then, if anxious to be logical and con- 
sistent, should state that man's existence is 
eternal ; that he ever did exist, and that he ever 
shall. The past, however, is of little interest to 
man. All that interests the self-loving being is 
the future. Let this future be a world of 
seraph-fire and bliss ! Let selfish anxiety be put 
to sleep by a dream ! The past ? Who cares 
for the past? The explanation that a master 



CONJECTURES 131 

created us from nothingness will do. Nay, our 
self-pride and our self-esteem consider the after 
only, and do not* shrink under the lashing state- 
ment that our origin is nothingness. This ut- 
terly worthless origin we accept with pleasure, 
provided our future be a brilliant one. 

And why should we, whose birthplace was 
nothing whatever, demand to be something in a 
future eternity? If nothing be my origin, the 
playful ruler will no doubt blot out my existence 
when he shall have tired of me. What am I, 
that I should annoy this schemer of immeasur- 
able plans with my foolish presence? 

Self-interest, indeed, would bar logic and 
reason from the world of true thought. It is 
self-interest that created this future for man, 
and did not care more about the past than to 
have him emerge from nothing. 

Lavoisier, over a century ago, proved that 
matter is indestructible. It is subject to physi- 
cal and chemical change, but it is never annihi- 
lated. A burning candle apparently disap- 
pears and changes into nothingness. In reality, 
however, the candle-substance changes into vari- 
ous gases, the weight of which is equal to the 
weight of the burned candle. Water may be 
decomposed into its constituents, oxygen and 
hydrogen, by an electric current. The weight 
of the obtained gases is equal to the weight of 
the water that disappeared. 



132 CHALLENGING A GOD 

Matter is indestructible, from which we should 
conclude that it shall ever exist. Does it re- 
quire much brain-racking thought to realize that 
matter ever existed ; that " creation " is eternal ; 
that a material, changeable universe shall ever 
float on the brow of a fathomless emptiness? 

Some people claim that matter is not real, 
meaning, probably, that it is but the garment of 
a fundamental, invisible universe. But I claim 
that this garment is as real and eternal as ex- 
istence itself. Visible appearance and invisible 
being are two things in one. A change in the 
garment is a visible revelation of the fact that 
a change in the being took place. Without this 
garment, what, indeed, should become of prog- 
ress ? It is the instrument of communication be- 
tween being and being. My body, with its cen- 
ter of activity, the brain, allows me to be aware 
of the existence of my being. When I am 
asleep and my brain is inactive, I am not aware 
that my me exists. Yet I do exist. I am con- 
scious, yes ; but I am not conscious of being con- 
scious. My existence is of no benefit whatever 
to me. I cannot progress ; I cannot know ; I 
cannot develop, without that much despised 
body of mine; for this body is instrumental in 
transmitting all sensations through the intel- 
lect to my impression-absorbing me. 

The matter of which the human body is com- 
posed is equally indestructible. Body-matter 



CONJECTURES 133 

changes, after death, into simpler compositions. 
Nothing is lost, nothing is annihilated. My 
ashes shall partly float on the sun-heated winds 
of the sky ; they may partly become the nourish- 
ing essence of the spring-flower ; as a whole they 
shall forever speak through radiant nature. 

But what about that strange something, the 
personality or soul or being of man? What 
happens to me? Here is a question which we 
are loath to answer, but also loath to ignore. 
We are loath to answer this question because 
we lack the courage. There is public opinion 
ever ready to ridicule us ! There is religious 
arrogance ever ready to condemn us ! 

Very few men dare speak out their convic- 
tions. Public belief and public opinion, no mat- 
ter how imperfect they may be, invariably check 
the utterances of man, who is indebted to no 
other man for his existence. What am I that I 
should refrain from, uttering my thoughts — 
because other people have their particular 
opinion? I am a free-born soul of universe, 
and no man can forbid me to think as I please. 

On the other hand, we are loath to ignore 
the question of the personality's destiny. The 
human mind does not rest until it has found 
some kind of answer to a life-riddle. Some 
people are easily satisfied, and content them- 
selves with vagaries and dreams. Others, how- 
ever, demand the truth, or no answer whatever. 



134 CHALLENGING A GOD 

I frankly confess that I cannot swear to the 
truth of my answer. Only indirectly is it based 
on observation and known facts. Directly, it 
rests upon a foundation of conclusions and pos- 
sibilities. The following, then, is a suggestion 
more than a statement. 

Sleep is a phenomenon which might suggest an 
idea of the state of death. Contrary to a popu- 
lar statement, I would maintain that a sleeping 
person is conscious. I am convinced, moreover, 
that his being is receptive to certain impressions. 
The remarkable point of difference, however, be- 
tween a condition of awakeness and a state of 
sleep is that the individual is aware of his con- 
sciousness when in the first condition, and totally 
unaware of his being when asleep. 

In connection with this subject, I will refer 
the reader to my chapter, " What is Truth ? " 
I therein explained that knowledge is primarily 
rooted in the person's being, and should be more 
fittingly named realization. The body, with its 
central seat, the brain, is the instrument that 
causes our being to be aware of itself. Our me 
views itself through the brain or intellect, and 
becomes aware of its own existence and its own 
knowledge. Without my body and my intel- 
lect, I should not be able to know that I exist, 
although individual existence might, indeed, be 
possible under these circumstances. 



CONJECTURES 135 

There exist innumerable instances where the 
intellect proves to be a mirror wherein the me 
contemplates itself. When I am awake, I am 
aware of the existence of my being. When I 
am asleep, I know neither of my own nor of any 
other existence. My senses, the brain, and their 
master, the intellect, have ceased to function. 

It happens very often indeed that a person's 
me is, partly at least, intellectually unknown. 
The me is not fully reflected by the intellect. 
The individual does not know his self, his knowl- 
edge, his capacity, his ambitions, or his powers. 
He shall act automatically. He shall explain 
his actions and his viewpoints by stating that 
" he had to do this and that," and that " he 
knows it should be so," until a teacher or a book 
stirs his intellect, and acquaints him with the 
" why " of his actions. He then knows (intel- 
lectually) what he knows. He is aware of his 
own knowledge. He is more fully aware of his 
being. His me is more aware of itself. The 
teacher has done no more than clothe his reali- 
zation in a garb of words, whereby the indi- 
vidual received another glimpse of awareness of 
self. 

Our human body-life, then, enables us to be 
aware of our own existence and our own self. 
Happily so! For our progress is thus facili- 
tated. While a flower's actions and progress 



136 CHALLENGING A GOD 

are purely automatic, ours are partly automatic 
and partly moved by knowing and its brother, 

WILLING. 

Sleep might truly be considered a temporary 
death. The awareness of self is almost com- 
pletely gone. We are fully alive, fully con- 
scious, but we do not know this, for the instru- 
ment through which we know does not function. 

What happens to me after I shall have crossed 
the boundaries of life? Shall my me be anni- 
hilated by nothingness? Shall a something be- 
come a nothing? Who shall tell? It may be 
that the realms of the unknown defy all laws 
of existence, and destroy and annihilate being, 
which defiance of existing law should cause many 
a nothing-hereafter-believer to laugh in his 
sleeve. Then, again, the law of universe might 
be spurned by death, and man may be aware of 
his self, even without his sense-body and his 
brain and intellect. This possibility makes us 
conceive of a real world, wherein " departed 
souls " play and suffer, make friends and en- 
emies, and do many things imaginable and in- 
conceivable. Occasionally they would visit 
their friends " on earth," and inform them that 
all is well and beautiful " on the other side." 
Indeed, defiance of all law is powerful enough to 
startle even the unknown into a swoon. 

Our logic — but who cares for logic ! The 
natural course — but who cares for the natural ! 



CONJECTURES 137 

Logic and nature should make their exit when 
our anxious desire makes its appearance. Even 
if law and logic should reveal a glimpse of the 
truth, let us by all means disown this truth in 
case it be less rosy and less beautiful than our 
anxiety might well expect it to be. A Walhalla 
and beer-drinking from our enemies' skulls, 
said the Teutons, rather than the silent but all- 
knowing law of existence. A heaven with angels 
and brooks and flowers rather than the wisely 
guiding hand of the All, say some men to-day ; 
indeed, a hell rather than that ! 

In the midst of a withering fire of opinion, 
belief, dream, and anxiety, one stands supported 
by a lonely reassurance indeed, which tells us 
that nature never yet erred — except in the 
opinion of man. And death, also, is doubtless 
a part of the scheme. If only this scheme em- 
braced our individuality beyond the limits of our 
birth and death I Could we but rise in our own 
estimation by proclaiming the eternity of our 
being as an indispensable part of all that is, 
as an indispensable factor of existence itself! 
Alas ! our knowledge does not warrant such 
proclamation. Our known lives are hemmed in 
by an unknown before and an unknown after. 
Like bubbles we rise up from a source of no- 
where and everywhere, to burst like so many 
utter insignificances. Our lives are like so many 
threads — but who cut the threads ? Who, 



138 CHALLENGING A GOD 

indeed, had the infinite arrogance to begin and 
to end in a world of no-beginning and no-end? 

Eternal change is the characteristic of uni- 
verse. Eternity itself is change. Everything 
changes into something else. But not one iota 
is being added to the whole, not one iota is be- 
ing subtracted therefrom. Existence is one; 
must forever be one. This being-one is the 
moving power of universe. A gain on earth is a 
loss on another planet ; a loss on earth is a gain 
in a distant corner of the world. The balance 
is ever kept. A double-handled pump is this 
world: when the left handle is down, the right 
handle is up; when the latter moves down, the 
first is compelled to rise. Existence and its 
garment, visible universe, are eternal, though 
not constant. 

In this world, wherein all things forever make 
the same one ; wherein all things change without 
changing the one; wherein all things shift and 
move and change, but never perish, — in this 
world, man came from nothing ! ? In this world, 
man becomes nothing I 

Pshaw J Here is my answer: he is, he was, 

he SHAIX BE. 



XII 

MY LIFE iVND MY UNIVERSE 
A SUMMARY 

I enjoy my own life and my own universe. 
Though, in reality, only one fathomless world 
exists, each being carries in his soul his own 
particular universe, which is his and his only; 
for his being has the power to feel all that is 
according to its own quality ; and as there exist 
innumerable degrees of being, there exist mil- 
lions of different worlds to the millions of souls 
that people the earth. 

When my heart is sad, the star-lit depths of 
universal night brood in silent, somber sorrow; 
the flower appears to droop under the burden of 
unspoken grief ; the hall-clock sends its penetrat- 
ing ticks into the fathomless solitude of eternity. 

When I am happy, the stars twinkle more 
brightly. The sunshine is more radiant. The 
birds twitter more joyfully. All is rosy and 
happy. I slap my downhearted friend upon the 
back, and tell him about the beauty of existence. 
I picture to him a happy world, — my happy 
world, which is happy because my being is. 
139 



140 CHALLENGING A GOD 

As I am, thus is my universe. It is a sad and 
hopeless world, you say? I do not agree with 
you. I cannot agree with you. You cannot 
convince me of the truth of your statement. 
Your being is different from mine. Your soul 
is viewing the world through its own hues, and 
so is mine. Your world may have a blue as- 
pect ; mine is white and radiant. 

Beautiful is my universe, infinitely beautiful. 
To think about, and to only partly understand, 
the marvel of All, is sufficient to make this world 
a beautiful one. Forbid me to think and seek 
the answers to my questions — and you have 
forbidden me to live ! Even the animal can 
spend its life in satisfying its physical wants. 
Man was born for greater things. Sleeping 
and eating are but secondary factors of his life. 
And if circumstances compel him to waste his ex- 
istence in wearisome efforts to gather food, he 
either is not aware of the power of his being, or 
else his brothers do not divide equally with him. 

Man is born to rule; to rule on the very 
throne of universe. He can, then, only rule 
when he knows. Knowledge conquers where 
cannons can but kill. Knowledge owns where 
dollars can but borrow. Knowledge rules where 
gold and glitter can but bribe. Knowledge is 
the very God of universe ! 

What monotony to live on earth, understand- 
ing nothing about the nature of existing things, 



MY LIFE AND MY UNIVERSE 141 

the causes of phenomena and life-happenings! 
What sadness to be ignorant of the marvelous 
power of one's Being, and to be aware of only 
an ability to obtain food and pleasure ! Know, 
and through the penetrating eye of knowledge 
behold a paradise! Your understanding for- 
bids you to see ugliness. Everything is inter- 
est, marvel, and beauty. Watch the crowds of 
the busy city ! Each individual carries a world 
in his heart, — a world of problems, sorrow, 
struggle, mystery, and pleasure. Each of his 
actions is the effect of a knowable cause. He is 
an open book, containing many beautiful essays 
on being and soul-development ; perhaps also 
some ugly paragraphs written by ignorance and 
non-development. But you realize that the 
book itself is not knowingly responsible for this 
ugly expression; you therefore treat it as lov- 
ingly and carefully as you would the most sub- 
lime edition of creation. 

Indeed, knowledge is the inspiration of man's 
existence. It gives life to that world of form 
and shade around me; it gives meaning to the 
apparently automatic, often whimsical, move- 
ments of so-called fate. It tells me that what- 
ever is, is best; which statement no longer is a 
sentiment of hopeful resignation, but a realized 
truth. 

Universe not only impresses my consciousness 
with the quality of beauty when I analyze it 



142 CHALLENGING A GOD 

intellectually. The direct impression which it 
leaves in my being is often indescribable. My 
being is beauty-mad. To describe what I feel 
when I behold and drink in beauty, is impossible. 
In such instances I am mute. Words fail me, 
for the reason that the sensation is almost un- 
limited and infinite. I cannot fully grasp the 
beauty of nature and universe ; neither am I able 
to give expression to my feelings. It is for this 
reason that all real beauty is tinged with a soft, 
tender sadness. Not with the sadness of tears ! 
But with that unnamable, super-beautiful sad- 
ness of unfathomableness. My being yearns to 
embrace the whole, and is unable to do so. An 
infinite, tender longing possesses my soul. Ex- 
perience it yourself; only then shall you under- 
stand what I now vainly try to explain. 

This sadness of infinity hovers above the hori- 
zon when the pale hues of the dawn disperse the 
dark of night, when the last rays of the sun re- 
flect their blood-color upon the feathery evening- 
clouds. It whispers through the dew-bedecked, 
fragrant rose, standing mute and still in the 
silver light of moon and star. Its murmur 
arises from the bosom of the ocean-waters. Its 
soft yearning is heard in the ripple of the brook 
traversing the forest where human voices do not 
ring. And I sense it above all, when I stand 
alone in the stillness and darkness of star-strewn 
immensity. 



MY LIFE AND MY UNIVERSE 143 

Music is but one of the expressions of beauty 
experienced by the soul. Chopin was the man 
that knew how'to express infinite beauty which 
cannot be wholly grasped by the soul, in com- 
position. His nocturnes and waltzes — nay, all 
his music — expresses tender longing and the 
sadness of incomprehensibility. Each of his 
pieces of music leaves something unsaid; sug- 
gests the existence of an infinite by not uttering 
it. Each chord and note is not final; each 
sound-vibration is a beautiful question, exciting 
an unnamable, tender longing in the human soul. 

And in this world of marvel and beauty — 
my world — I live and fight and struggle and 
hope. I am ambitious. I have an aim in this 
life. No man can comfortably pass away 
twenty-four hours daily during a period of sixty 
or seventy years without having a definite aim 
with which to occupy his mind. When I happen 
to be lazy, and lose sight of the goal I wish to 
reach, I am, physically and mentally, sick. I 
become self-centered. I command too much 
time to devote my attention to my many phys- 
ical ailments. And woe to the individual who 
has nothing else to do but nurse and pet and 
please himself ! There exists a distinct type of 
man and woman who are constantly afflicted with 
this or that little trouble In many instances, 
the best cure for the woman is to do some wash- 
ing ; for the man to manipulate pick and shovel, 



144 CHALLENGING A GOD 

— anything that may divert their attention 
from self to something else. 

No matter how insignificant your station in 
life may be, no matter how humble your ambi- 
tions are — see a goal ahead ! Try to reach 
it ! Each man shall find a life-task fitted to the 
capacity and quality of his being. And the 
genius who accomplishes an apparently tre- 
mendous task does not accomplish more than 
the humble land-owner who harvests his pota- 
toes. 

My ambition is to bring freedom to people; 
to liberate them from the bondage of ignorance 
and superstition; to awaken their souls to the 
marvelous intelligence of all that is, and to the 
creative power of their own being. I can ac- 
complish this in but one manner, — by sharing 
my knowledge with them, and by proving 
to them that this knowledge has been my in- 
spiration, guiding power, and source of suc- 
cessful living. 

I do not know why such an ambition is mine. 
Probably because I am myself- It is a neces- 
sary expression of my being. I cannot help be- 
ing myself. Consequently, if my ambition be 
a worthy one, I do not deserve credit ; if it is an 
unworthy one, I should not be condemned. 
All ideas, ideals, thoughts, and ambitions are 
necessary expressions of our being. 

An aim without the applied effort necessary 



MY LIFE AND MY UNIVERSE 145 

to reach it, is not an aim. Aim and struggle 
walk hand in hand. Struggle is the developing 
power of the htlman soul. Without struggle 
and its experience, no progress could be possible. 
I am a fighter at heart. I do not care to deal 
out blows, or use any brutal strength whatever. 
I believe that the man who resorts to guns and 
the strength of his fist is morally weak. 

Difficulties and obstacles arouse the fighting 
qualities of my being. When the present is 
hopeless, the future looks bright. When none 
of my plans succeed and everything seems lost, 
I am most determined to conquer. I am anxious 
to prove to myself that my being has a certain 
amount of creative value, at least. I wish to 
teach myself how much I am worth as a human 
being. I desire to repudiate the natural be- 
lief that man is a mere puppet in the invisible 
grasp of a whimsical ruler. 

There is no greater satisfaction than to con- 
quer in a fight. I am always particularly glad 
to shake hands with the man who tells me that 
he has " gone through hell." To survive a 
mental hell is to prove to yourself that you are 
a god. There are, naturally, some people who 
do not have the power to rise above the level of 
misery. But those who do, generally emerge 
from the sea of soul-fire, purer, nobler, greater, 
stronger. 

I do not fear trouble or sorrow. I realize 



146 CHALLENGING A GOD 

that a greater regard for my self will intensify 
my pain. Only when I am unselfish, when I 
consider my self as little as possible, am I able 
to bear so-called disappointment and sorrow. 
I would not care to exchange some years of 
misery I have experienced for all the treasures 
of heaven. They taught me a million dollars' 
worth of wisdom; they proved to me that one 
can bear, persevere, and conquer; yea, they re- 
vealed to me the fact that man is a god in him- 
self, and can rule this planet provided he fol- 
low the road of truth to the best of his ability. 
I am the slave of nothing — except my work. 
My work is my very life. To take it away 
from me is equal to committing murder. My 
work is the necessary expression of my being. 
I am compelled to do it. Well-thinking people 
desired that I should employ myself according 
to their ideas. I did so for a while, merely to 
please them. The consequences were that I 
made a fool of myself and that I became 
sick, mentally and morally. Each individual 
is guided by the voice of his being. It 
creates a desire to follow a certain line of work. 
The individual should obey this voice. If he 
does not, he is unnatural and he breaks the law 
of his being. Fathers and mothers should give 
their children absolute freedom to choose their 
life-career. Their children are being guided by 



MY LIFE AND MY UNIVERSE 147 

the most powerful law in universe — the law 
of individual fate. This law automatically 
chooses the conditions needed for the individual. 
Its judgment is better, even, than that of 
anxious fathers and friends. 

I am nobody's slave except, perhaps, of the 
generous, noble, broad-minded, unselfish man. 
I refuse to pretend to be something else than I 
really am, merely to please people and win their 
favor. I refuse to hide my opinions, when 
asked, merely to agree meekly with theirs. A 
man should be sincere, even in his wickedness and 
ignorance. I can like a bad man who does not 
seek to hide his bad qualities. One cannot do 
more than do the best he can, and express him- 
self as he really is. He then lives up to the 
real qualities of his being. He is natural. 

I have some good qualities, and I think very 
little about them. I have some bad qualities 
which I keep constantly in mind, without worry- 
ing too much about them, however. I know the 
law. I know that these very qualities shall be 
the cause of some disagreeable moments of 
misery. When the misery arrives, I shall not 
curse the world, but patiently bear my pain, 
knowing, meanwhile, that I am learning my les- 
son; that I am being purified; that I am real- 
izing a truth. Intellectual sermons cannot 
change my being. The sermons of a hell, mo- 



148 CHALLENGING A GOD 

mentarily dwelling in my soul, have the power 
to make me realize a truth, and add a few nobler 
qualities to my being. 

I do not have enemies, and I condemn no one. 
My only enemy is my self. If I am not aware 
of this fact, I naturally blame some imaginary 
power for my misfortunes. The quality of my 
self determines my fate. Whether I am aware 
of it or not — I am my own enemy, my own 
sorrow, my own responsibility. 

I condemn certain thoughts and ideas that do 
not harmonize with the quality of my being. I 
am not so foolish as to condemn the individual. 
He may be right, and I may be wrong. But 
even if I were right, he is not consciously re- 
sponsible for holding his thoughts. His intel- 
lect is the servant of his being, and it merely 
translates into words and symbols the unutter- 
able language of the personality. His ideas are 
the necessary expressions of his being. More- 
over, I should beware lest a man nobler than I 
am, condemn me for being what I am. When 
I say that I condemn no one, I will make one 
exception. This one exception, maybe, proves 
the imperfection of my being. I am sorry, but 
I cannot help it. One particular criminal in all 
the world I condemn with all my heart and soul. 
He is the man who, knowing better, teaches 
people awe-inspiring " bunk " about a personal 
god, a heaven, and a hell. When a man is sin- 



MY LIFE AND MY UNIVERSE 149 

cere in his teachings, I do not care whether his 
principles are perfect or not in my opinion. 
He is sincere ; that is sufficient. Probably there 
exist people whose particular degrees of develop- 
ment are in need of such teaching. All religions 
are but steps leading higher and higher to the 
throne of absolute truth. Some people, having 
a certain soul-development, stand on the lowest 
step — orthodoxy ; others stand on a higher 
step — Christian Science, for example ; others, 
again, stand on the highest step : they think for 
themselves. 

No, I do not care which religion or philosophy 
a man teaches, as long as he is sincere. But 
there are priests, cardinals, and popes who 
have studied too much, who know too much 
about philosophy — ancient and modern, who 
realize too fully the truth of everything, to con- 
scientiously teach people about Holy Ghosts and 
virgins, and drench their souls in a fantastic 
variety of heathenish nonsense. How the exist- 
ence of such " teachings " can be possible in the 
year 191 4, is hopelessly incomprehensible to me. 

The man who undertakes to teach people of 
the secret of existence, undertakes a great deal. 
He takes the infinite, the eternal, and the in- 
comprehensible in his mouth. He influences 
people with his thoughts so that their very lives 
are practically in his hands. He should be ab- 
solutely sincere in his utterances, especially be- 



150 CHALLENGING A GOD 

cause his responsibility is a grave and sacred 
one. 

Kings and emperors may be relics belonging 
to the past, but so are popes and cardinals. 
Men who command people how to think and how 
not to think are the worst enemies of truth, 
philosophy, progress, and the universal princi- 
ple of individual liberty. Men who have the 
infinite arrogance to clothe their utterances in 
the garb of authority take advantage of the 
ignorance of the public and are not much bet- 
ter than slaveholders. 

Freedom is the heaven of man. To be free 
from self — from base desires and selfish motives 
— is to be free in life and the boundless depths 
of universe. My freedom in life is the expres- 
sion of my freedom from self. My self is my 
only limitation, my only devil. May I con- 
quer it, and become the most powerful being in 
universe ! " Know ye not that ye are gods ? " 



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